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With #BisexualVisibilityDay just around the corner, I’ve been thinking a lot about my own sexuality.
This is going to be a long thread so buckle up.
It’s also a topic I’ve not addressed on social media for a long time so *deep breath*.
When I was a kid, I was gay but in my mid-to-late teens my sexuality started to open up a little.
Let’s just say it blossomed like a beautiful flower 
I had crushes on women in sixth form and during my university years.
Moving into my early twenties, I started to use a microlabel to describe my sexuality: queer/bi fag.
It felt dishonest to say I was gay, because I had crushes on women, but at the same time I didn’t feel like I’d act on those feelings so I chose ‘queer/bi fag’.
Women have always felt more like sisters to me so I didn’t think I could go the extra mile, if that makes sense.
To put it another way, I’ve always related to women as a gay boy even when my sexuality was more open.
So queer/bi fag was my way of conveying my reality as a gay boy who sometimes fancied women.
In my mid-twenties, my sexuality became more static. My attraction to women fizzled out and I felt it was time to reclaim ‘gay’.
My sexuality still takes the occasional detour on the Kinsey scale, as I like to put it.
But this happens very seldom and always takes me by surprise. I’ve had precisely three crushes on women over the past five years.
The last woman I fancied where the feeling was mutual worked at a library where I ran events.
She had a long mane of golden, curly hair and she always wore bronze eyeshadow and an alien pendant 
She always used to flirt with me; I remember at one point she made a point of saying she fancied bald men.
Looking back on it, I’m not sure if she was my type or whether I was responding to her flirtatious energy.
I like to be liked, you see; I guess that’s the power bottom in me.
In any case, she gave me butterflies 
When I slipped into conversation that I was getting married to a man, she was like, ‘No way! I’m pansexual and my best friend is a trans man!’
Funny how we always find our people, huh? Like attracts like.
Anyway, I wanted to open up about this part of my experience for two reasons.
First, there’s been a lot of nastiness on here around microlabels and that’s not acceptable to me.
Sexuality is not an exact science, you bunch of misery vampires. Just let people use whatever labels make sense for them.
Secondly, back when I was a bicurious fag, I got some shit from the Gold Star Brigade and it really hurt me.
I recall a particularly bad experience on a night out in Soho (I even wrote a poem about it), but that’s a story for another day.
(CW: Biphobia, microaggressions.)
I remember gay men who pointedly said ‘Oh, well, *I’ve* never experienced that,’ (re: you’re weird) when I brought up my bicuriosity.
I remember gay men who pointedly said ‘Oh, well, *I’ve* never experienced that,’ (re: you’re weird) when I brought up my bicuriosity.
I hope that by talking about (and owning) this aspect of my queer life, it can help someone who’s been made to feel small.
Gatekeeping is not okay and I don’t want anyone to feel the way that I did.
I will always speak out against biphobia and bi-erasure in the gay spaces I inhabit.
This is mostly because it’s the right thing to do, but it’s also because my experiences have helped me to understand how much it hurts.
That concludes my sexuality thoughts. Thank you and good night! 
Oh, and credit where credit is due, I was inspired by this tweet. It really struck a chord with me as someone who once used a microlabel to articulate my lived experiences. https://twitter.com/we_are_biscuit/status/1304051399798513667?s=21
