9/11 is a really complicated memory for me—a mixture of pain, confusion, fear. It screwed up my worldview for almost an entire decade, it was a deeply disturbing and sad day that made me question everything I thought I stood for.

I’ll spare you the story about where I was on 9/11 when the news came in. No one cares. Everyone has a story. Everyone remembers. No one will forget.

I used to live in New York, so I had close connections to the city and friends and family close by (ex. my uncle is a vet who cared for the rescue dogs). I loved the city (still do); I loved my memories there. It felt personal.

I had so many questions. Why would anyone do this to us? Why would these crazy people kill so many innocent people? Immediately after 9/11, the media and the government propelled the fear machine. They pimped paranoia.

The worst thing 9/11 did to me was build hatred in my heart for an entire group of people who were different from me based on the actions of a few lunatics. I fell victim to the fear-mongering paranoia. That’s the goal of terrorism—to create chaos, to divide, to build hatred.

I’m not going to get into specifics about that part of my life. All I will say is that the things I said and the worldview I championed make me ashamed and still sicken me.

In my final year of college, I had an Egyptian roommate, Mostafa; he was an exchange student. Over the course of a year, he introduced me to other Muslim exchange students from all over the Middle East. I fasted (and feasted) with them during Ramadan. We became great friends.

Mostafa invited me to visit his family in Egypt. I traveled to Cairo and explored that incredible country with his family and friends for several weeks. We traveled all over the country meeting different people with different perspectives from all over the Middle East.

I spoke nightly with Mostafa’s friends and family over dinner and tea. We discussed the political climate and current events, but, most importantly, we told jokes and goofed off, connecting over things like football (soccer) and music. Our humanity conquered my prejudice.

I’ve had a chance to travel to over 40 countries, but to this day, that is the most meaningful trip of my life. My friendship with Mostafa is the most meaningful friendship of my life because it changed my entire worldview. Our friendship conquered my prejudice.

We still talk regularly on What’sApp. We’re still great friends to this day. Anytime he’s in Chicago, I pick him up the airport and take him out for dinner. Prior to the global shutdown, I had a trip planned to take my family to Egypt and to show them around (and visit Mostafa).

While 9/11 really screwed up my worldview and turned me into a weak, scared person whose ideals I will never again support, humanity and friendship won. Be open to new opportunities. Be willing to meet people who are different from you. It will change your life.

Meeting people from different cultures and perspectives helps you understand that the actions of a few do not reflect the feelings of an entire nation, creed, or race. We cannot let the actions of a small minority close the door to humanity. We cannot let fear win.