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Watching @hedonish present #SDSNoisyBrains
Did you know ADHD brain produce less norepinephrine and dopamine?
Did you know ADHD brain produce less norepinephrine and dopamine?
ADHD brains that are underestimated can feel really uncomfortable, like an itchy sweater
#SDSNoisyBrains
#SDSNoisyBrains
ADHD brains that don't pay attention to the task at hand are really saying 'this is too boring of a task and I won't focus on it'
#SDSNoisyBrains
#SDSNoisyBrains
Stress - like knowing your partner is on their way home and you didn't do XYZ - can light a fire under our asses to get tasks we've been avoiding done
#SDSNoisyBrains
#SDSNoisyBrains
Sex is really the only time we're asked to focus on a single thing for a while
It's okay to acknowledge the distractions we're feeling and move on
#SDSNoisyBrains
It's okay to acknowledge the distractions we're feeling and move on
#SDSNoisyBrains
Distraction can interrupt the sexual arousal cycle, so that acknowledgement is a better way to handle being distracted during sex than getting frustrated - which can make it worse
#SDSNoisyBrains
#SDSNoisyBrains
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) goes hand in hand with ADHD
Studies show ADHD folx receive around 20x more criticism as children than their peers
And then there's internal criticism
#SDSNoisyBrains
Studies show ADHD folx receive around 20x more criticism as children than their peers
And then there's internal criticism
#SDSNoisyBrains
If we can acknowledge that this is an issue, we can both understand our brains better, giving them space and grace, AND explain it to partners
#SDSNoisyBrains
#SDSNoisyBrains
Hypersensitivity can go along with ADHD, whether that's physical or emotional
Think about sounds or sensations that you might hyperfocus on like sheets bunching around your feet
#SDSNoisyBrains
Think about sounds or sensations that you might hyperfocus on like sheets bunching around your feet
#SDSNoisyBrains
Urgency and procrastination are major issues with ADHD
Our brains don't always focus on what we WANT them to focus on
#SDSNoisyBrains
Our brains don't always focus on what we WANT them to focus on
#SDSNoisyBrains
ADHD brains struggle with time
We don't see time in the linear fashion often, but more wibbly wobbly like Doctor Who
Think of it as having time being a covered spot for us
#SDSNoisyBrains
We don't see time in the linear fashion often, but more wibbly wobbly like Doctor Who
Think of it as having time being a covered spot for us
#SDSNoisyBrains
New Relationship Energy (NRE) can cause ADHD brains to hyperfocus on a new partner
When that NRE goes away, we can shift focus to newer partners or daily life versus that partner
And that can be rough
#SDSNoisyBrains
When that NRE goes away, we can shift focus to newer partners or daily life versus that partner
And that can be rough
#SDSNoisyBrains
Many ADHDers have a lower sex drive (49%) compared to about 25% of gen pop
Higher sex drives can be a thing, too, especially with the endorphins fulfilling our need for dopamine and norepinephrine
#SDSNoisyBrains
Higher sex drives can be a thing, too, especially with the endorphins fulfilling our need for dopamine and norepinephrine
#SDSNoisyBrains
Anxiety responses bring on a ton of different changes that are there to help us protect ourselves
It pulls us into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode
#SDSNoisyBrains
It pulls us into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode
#SDSNoisyBrains
Nearly 50% of ADHDers also have anxiety, making things even more difficult to navigate
Esp as anxiety can become a hyperfocus
#SDSNoisyBrains
Esp as anxiety can become a hyperfocus
#SDSNoisyBrains
Chronic stress can cause physical pain, reduce genital response like producing lubrication, and can even lead to overly tight vaginal/pelvic muscles
These all lead to less sexual pleasure
#SDSNoisyBrains
These all lead to less sexual pleasure
#SDSNoisyBrains
We have a gas pedal (sexual excitation system), a brake pedal (sexual inhibition system) and a hand brake (chronic 'no thank you' signal)
Getting to orgasm, esp during 2020, can mean trying to move forward with the hand brake on
#SDSNoisyBrains
Getting to orgasm, esp during 2020, can mean trying to move forward with the hand brake on
#SDSNoisyBrains
Context matters in how we respond to sex
If you're working from bed, it may be harder to let your guard down and relax there during sex
#SDSNoisyBrains
If you're working from bed, it may be harder to let your guard down and relax there during sex
#SDSNoisyBrains
Ways to calibrate your nervous system and complete that stress cycle?
Sleep, working out, affection, meditation, crying, self-care and self-kindness
#SDSNoisyBrains
Sleep, working out, affection, meditation, crying, self-care and self-kindness
#SDSNoisyBrains
It's okay to rethink sex, whether that's the activities we engage in or how we think about sexuality
#SDSNoisyBrains
#SDSNoisyBrains
Communicate!!!!
It's SO VITAL to working through issues
Ask your partner to repeat a phrase back to you and practice reflective listening
#SDSNoisyBrains
It's SO VITAL to working through issues
Ask your partner to repeat a phrase back to you and practice reflective listening
#SDSNoisyBrains
Think about ways to task switch to transition into sexy times while shedding off the stress
Scheduling sexy time is great, too, but have a backup plan in case y'all aren't feeling it that day
#SDSNoisyBrains
Scheduling sexy time is great, too, but have a backup plan in case y'all aren't feeling it that day
#SDSNoisyBrains
Think about doing sexual things facing a wall to avoid distractions
Mixing things up like using sex toys or talking dirty can be great ways to keep people's minds engaged
#SDSNoisyBrains
Mixing things up like using sex toys or talking dirty can be great ways to keep people's minds engaged
#SDSNoisyBrains
If you're gonna be distracted, do it on purpose!
Make sex a game, like reading a book while your partner touches you and see how long you can go before messing up
#SDSNoisyBrains
Make sex a game, like reading a book while your partner touches you and see how long you can go before messing up
#SDSNoisyBrains
Instead of trying to change how your brain works - which won't happen tbh - focus on changing the context
#SDSNoisyBrains
#SDSNoisyBrains
Another fun way to play can be to listen to audio porn and act out what's happening
Nothing is better than @feelgoodfilth IMO
#SDSNoisyBrains
Nothing is better than @feelgoodfilth IMO
#SDSNoisyBrains
Being not sober can help, too, as long as you have negotiated playing in that manner
#SDSNoisyBrains
#SDSNoisyBrains
Help @sexpospsych and @hedonish write a book about #ADHD and relationships!
#ChronicSex #ChronicIllness #Neisvoid http://Bit.ly/ADHDRelationships
#ChronicSex #ChronicIllness #Neisvoid http://Bit.ly/ADHDRelationships
