Watching @hedonish present #SDSNoisyBrains

Did you know ADHD brain produce less norepinephrine and dopamine?

ADHD brains that are underestimated can feel really uncomfortable, like an itchy sweater

#SDSNoisyBrains

ADHD brains that don't pay attention to the task at hand are really saying 'this is too boring of a task and I won't focus on it'

#SDSNoisyBrains

Stress - like knowing your partner is on their way home and you didn't do XYZ - can light a fire under our asses to get tasks we've been avoiding done

#SDSNoisyBrains

Sex is really the only time we're asked to focus on a single thing for a while

It's okay to acknowledge the distractions we're feeling and move on

#SDSNoisyBrains

Distraction can interrupt the sexual arousal cycle, so that acknowledgement is a better way to handle being distracted during sex than getting frustrated - which can make it worse

#SDSNoisyBrains

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) goes hand in hand with ADHD

Studies show ADHD folx receive around 20x more criticism as children than their peers

And then there's internal criticism

#SDSNoisyBrains

If we can acknowledge that this is an issue, we can both understand our brains better, giving them space and grace, AND explain it to partners

#SDSNoisyBrains

Hypersensitivity can go along with ADHD, whether that's physical or emotional

Think about sounds or sensations that you might hyperfocus on like sheets bunching around your feet

#SDSNoisyBrains

Urgency and procrastination are major issues with ADHD

Our brains don't always focus on what we WANT them to focus on

#SDSNoisyBrains

ADHD brains struggle with time

We don't see time in the linear fashion often, but more wibbly wobbly like Doctor Who

Think of it as having time being a covered spot for us

#SDSNoisyBrains

New Relationship Energy (NRE) can cause ADHD brains to hyperfocus on a new partner

When that NRE goes away, we can shift focus to newer partners or daily life versus that partner

And that can be rough

#SDSNoisyBrains

Many ADHDers have a lower sex drive (49%) compared to about 25% of gen pop

Higher sex drives can be a thing, too, especially with the endorphins fulfilling our need for dopamine and norepinephrine

#SDSNoisyBrains

"Just because science doesn't know it yet doesn't mean it's not true"
- @hedonish

#SDSNoisyBrains

Moving on to discuss anxiety disorders now

This'll be a fairly broad view

#SDSNoisyBrains

40 million US adults have at least one anxiety disorder

That also includes PTSD

#SDSNoisyBrains

Anxiety responses bring on a ton of different changes that are there to help us protect ourselves

It pulls us into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode

#SDSNoisyBrains

Nearly 50% of ADHDers also have anxiety, making things even more difficult to navigate

Esp as anxiety can become a hyperfocus

#SDSNoisyBrains

Chronic stress can cause physical pain, reduce genital response like producing lubrication, and can even lead to overly tight vaginal/pelvic muscles

These all lead to less sexual pleasure

#SDSNoisyBrains

We have a gas pedal (sexual excitation system), a brake pedal (sexual inhibition system) and a hand brake (chronic 'no thank you' signal)

Getting to orgasm, esp during 2020, can mean trying to move forward with the hand brake on

#SDSNoisyBrains

Context matters in how we respond to sex

If you're working from bed, it may be harder to let your guard down and relax there during sex

#SDSNoisyBrains

Ways to calibrate your nervous system and complete that stress cycle?

Sleep, working out, affection, meditation, crying, self-care and self-kindness

#SDSNoisyBrains

It's okay to rethink sex, whether that's the activities we engage in or how we think about sexuality

#SDSNoisyBrains

Communicate!!!!

It's SO VITAL to working through issues

Ask your partner to repeat a phrase back to you and practice reflective listening

#SDSNoisyBrains

Think about ways to task switch to transition into sexy times while shedding off the stress

Scheduling sexy time is great, too, but have a backup plan in case y'all aren't feeling it that day

#SDSNoisyBrains

Think about doing sexual things facing a wall to avoid distractions

Mixing things up like using sex toys or talking dirty can be great ways to keep people's minds engaged

#SDSNoisyBrains

If you're gonna be distracted, do it on purpose!

Make sex a game, like reading a book while your partner touches you and see how long you can go before messing up

#SDSNoisyBrains

Instead of trying to change how your brain works - which won't happen tbh - focus on changing the context

#SDSNoisyBrains

Another fun way to play can be to listen to audio porn and act out what's happening

Nothing is better than @feelgoodfilth IMO

#SDSNoisyBrains

Being not sober can help, too, as long as you have negotiated playing in that manner

#SDSNoisyBrains

Help @sexpospsych and @hedonish write a book about #ADHD and relationships!

#ChronicSex #ChronicIllness #Neisvoid http://Bit.ly/ADHDRelationships