19 years ago, I was a third grader at bernardsville elementary school, 45min from nyc in a commuter town in new jersey . they didn’t tell us what was going on, but it was a weird day- kids kept getting picked up early until there were only a few of us left.

I remember my teacher leaving the classroom and coming back tearful and trying to keep it together, but I wouldn’t find out what had happened until I got home after school. my brother was a few years older at the middle school and they pulled in TVs to watch live coverage.

many families in my town were affected; my mom received a frantic voicemail from our across-the-street neighbor whose husband was on a high floor (60+) — they didn’t hear from him for a long time, but he miraculously escaped and helped carry another woman down: truly heroic.

we grew up with them, one of their sons was in my grade and it really “hit close to home”. their story was on the show ‘48hours’ and I remember them coming to my home to film my mom playing the voicemail from our home phone on speaker for their 9/11 episode.

in the following weeks, my mom organized a krispy kreme donut sale for the kids in our community; we sold hundreds to raise money for a memorial flag and plaque at our public library and every year held a service there, where I sometimes sang the national anthem with my brother.

that night, we met with other neighbors at one of the highest points in our town by the church where we could see the smoke...it was eerie and scary, deeply sad and heavy. and confusing.

I was young and remember this all so clearly, but at that age although I could see and feel the magnitude and emotion, I couldn’t fully understand the events and consequences. more recently, I went to youtube and watched compilations of the live news coverage that day.

I’ve heard my parents talk about it. how my mom started receiving calls from friends who didn’t know if she still worked in the city but assured them she was ok; how they thought the first crash was an accident with a small personal propeller plane and didn’t turn on the news;

how my dad called her telling her he was coming home and a second plane hit and it was definitely terrorism; how they watched, sick, as the buildings collapsed -and then the flight into the pentagon -and then into the field.

watching the coverage myself as an adult was distressing as I was able to process the gravity of the multiple events that day and understand how it unfolded in real time, with reporters trying to stay calm to relay the terrifying events, everyone with more questions than answers.

there was such extreme panic and sadness and fear for the country as a whole, not knowing if more trauma was coming. I watched many videos of the timeline that day, how president bush was alerted and flights nationwide were shut down.

so much happened so quickly and there was no knowing whether something else was coming next. it made my stomach turn to see the coverage in this new light, but was powerful in connecting all the memories I’ve had of that day and the aftermath that I navigated as a child.

I’ve often thought how different coverage and reactions might be now, with twitter and facebook creating opportunities to circulate videos and information widely...

... and with social media allowing for an influx of opinions and fake news and distorted imagery, without the nation relying on the cohesive messaging that we got through official news stations at that time.

how would people have reacted differently? how would our togetherness or apartness be more apparent?

it’s such a solemn memory and difficult to believe it has been 19 years. we watched a documentary in college “man in red bandana” and there are many others documenting the victims and survivors and first responders and heroes and political responses.

and the lasting consequences- national security; so many first responders and survivors suffering longterm health effects; so many attacks on muslims in the following weeks and years and the continued culture of islamaphobia; the war and how things were politicized.

there is so much to take in about the tragedy. my heart is always heavy on this day and I am full of love for all of those who had personal experiences and losses. I’m truly sorry.

there’s no point to this thread except to share my experience. talk to your friends and family, because this was a collective moment and everyone alive at that time has distinct and personal memories about the event. my true prayers

every friend I’ve spoken to about this —friends from california and chicago and florida and connecticut and georgia and south carolina and texas— every single person has a distinct story of where they were when they found out, how eerie it was. everywhere.

I think those stories are important to listen to and talk about. it was a historic tragic moment. everyone is as affected, no matter what. and the emotions run deep, you can still feel those memories

just as my mom remembers where she was when JFK and MLK were assassinated, 9/11 is the memory that we all will hold forever. it’s still just as heavy and sad and momentous.

I’ll also say, if I see any conspiracies about this today, on a day of rememberance, I’ll ask that you please choose your moment wisely. the reality of this experience is a truth and any conversation otherwise is not necessary. be kind

thanks @BSol0718 for linking me to one of the docs I mentioned:

I shared my story and would love to hear where you all were OTD 19 yrs ago. feel free to share any memories or messages of hope or anything about your experiences. I’d like to hear about that. #NeverForget