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Bullies. A thread (not about evidence).
Our kid is dealing with a "friend" who regularly criticizes, minimizes, and belittles those around her. We had a convo about it this morning that included the standard anti-bully talk.
Our kid is dealing with a "friend" who regularly criticizes, minimizes, and belittles those around her. We had a convo about it this morning that included the standard anti-bully talk.
Yes. This "friend" is free to have an opinion and to voice that opinion. That doesn't mean her opinion is fact or even correct. It's just as likely to be shit-talking (I see a home-schooling chapter on evidence and critical thinking in our future :).
Her friend might even have some really good reasons for the shit-talking. Perhaps it's how her parents talk to her. Or she thinks it's how she will create community. Or she's angry and acting out.
As much as it can help to think about/understand the reasons--those (even great ones) don't give anyone the right to put down, belittle, or minimize another person, their experience, or their history.
Just because anyone can have an opinion doesn't mean that they're free from the consequences of voicing it. Eventually, her friends might have enough and start pushing back. They might avoid this person or tell teachers, initiating an unpleasant, parent-involved process.
I said: most (said with hope) 11-year-olds learn how this works and stop being assholes. Some don't and continue being asshole 20, 30, 50, and 70-year-olds. That's why we develop and practice strategies to deal with such behaviour.
She is sad, which makes me sad. Her "friend" is regularly putting down things and people that my kid really cares about, and my kid can't wrap her head around why someone would do that when the things she's putting down don't actually have anything to do with her.
Me too, kid. Me too.
