Filtering language: words that draw your attention to the character's experience of the action, rather than the action itself, most often by articulating the obvious use of the five senses.

A thread... 1/ https://twitter.com/glovestory_/status/1304352400992428034

2/ Filtering is a first draft sand trap most writers can't avoid, in part because narrating the use of the senses seems like a gateway to characterization. But *telling* me someone sees something is different from *showing* me what someone sees & how they process/respond. 2/

3/ An example: "She looked around the room until she saw him near the refreshments table."

Wait, we can make it worse.

"Her eyes looked around the room until she saw him near the refreshments table."

You think it doesn't happen BUT IT DOES.

4/ The obvious red flag is giving this character's organs independent agency (If her eyes were looking around, what was the rest of her doing?!). Also, one can generally assume readers know which body part is responsible for collecting visual data .

5/ Let's go back to "She looked around the room." We always want our subjects doing our verbs, yes? We're directing the reader's gaze to SHE (s) LOOKED (v), instead of showing what our character sees.

You're TELLING me she's looking, instead of SHOWING me what she sees.

6/ We can eliminate the first filter while meaningfully setting the tone: "She tucked herself behind a large potted fern, the better to observe the wide, rectangular dance floor without herself being observed."

Mood
Characterization
Action

7/ We're not out of the woods yet. There's still another sneaky filter in the original example: "...she saw him near the refreshments table." Here again, we're drawing attention to the act of seeing, which is .

8/ The fix doesn't have to be heroic; just acknowledge that your reader understands the character is looking for someone and will ultimately find them using her eyeballs.

"There he was, near the refreshments table."

9/ In sum:

Her eyes looked around the room until she saw him near the refreshments table.

vs

She tucked herself behind a large potted fern, the better to observe the wide, rectangular dance floor without herself being observed. There he was, by the refreshments table.

10/ Please don't try to curtail filtering in early drafts. Instead, plan a dedicated editing pass to seeking out & eliminate filters. Language efficiency = Don't waste your words on meaningless narration, & trust your reader to understand that noses smell, eyes see, etc.

Fin.