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Let's talk about burnout. I've taken exactly 3 days off since everything went virtual 6 months ago. I worked on every single one of those 3 days, because there is an unspoken expectation (tbf, not from my work, but from the courts) that remote work = 24/7 availability.
With every change to court procedure, every new policy, every new case I'm assigned where speedy trial isn't being counted, every calendar that my cases might end up on with little to no notice to me, every tech malfunction, every skype/ zoom meeting, etc. I am closer to done.
But my job is never done. If anything, that feels more true than ever. And since prosecutors don't use discretion or listen to complaining witnesses who want to drop cases, speedy trial is one of the main tools for avoiding an unmanageable caseload in NY.
Speedy trial is the one power that alleged victims have once the cops are involved. They can't tell the police not to make an arrest. They can't force a DA to drop charges. But if they don't cooperate, eventually, the case goes away. Except for now, because Cuomo suspended that.
I would estimate that, absent the executive order suspending basically all rights in NY, ~20-30 of the cases I'm handling would have been dismissed by now. Maybe more. Not less.
The courts, of course, blame public defenders for the growing backlog and spiraling mess that Cuomo and DAs have created. Despite having the least power in the system, all problems are apparently created by public defenders.
Meanwhile, I (and many of my colleagues, I suspect) am just so tired. Tired of telling clients I can't tell them when their case will end. Tired of trying to jump through court-invented hoops to take the pleas the court desperately wants (when they're good for my clients.)
Tired of trying to do a job that truly takes a village in near-isolation. I remain so thankful that we are (mostly) permitted to work remotely. I don't want to die for my job, no matter how much I love it, and I want my clients to be safe.
But in my 5 years of public defense, I've never been so overwhelmed, and it feels like there is something new every day. So if it takes me an extra day or two to return your call, I'm really sorry. I swear I'm doing my best.
But my best depends on my ability to take care of myself. Right now, I can't see my friends. I can't see my family. I have to wear a face mask on my runs. I can't do the things I normally do to rest and recharge.
I'm trying to show myself grace.
I'm failing.
I'm not alone.
I'm trying to show myself grace.
I'm failing.
I'm not alone.
The criminal legal system is a conviction machine. The powers that be are pissed that a wrench has been thrown into their carceral cogs, and as always, efficiency (not justice) is the courts' primary concern.
I don't have a solution. I just want people to know how hard we're working, how little it feels like that work matters, and how tired we're all getting as one of the primary checks on the government's insatiable thirst for punishment (speedy trial) remains suspended in NY.
