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cw: suicide, self harm
Do you have any idea how it feels to constantly feeling suicidal, how your intrusive thought revolves around how everyday items can be used to end your life? How every waking moment is a chore, you can just end it all, why bother?
Do you have any idea how it feels to constantly feeling suicidal, how your intrusive thought revolves around how everyday items can be used to end your life? How every waking moment is a chore, you can just end it all, why bother?
Every tick of the clock, every sound, every movement, it's all sensory hell as the only thing your brain keep chiming to you is "kill yourself" and it's synonyms.
Eventually you get use to the sounds, the thoughts, it's just there. You smile laugh and act like you're normal, but the thought is always there. It lingers. It haunts you.
Every step made is a step closer to death, the sweet sweet embrace of slumbering peace. Never to suffer in the hands of reality ever again. You could get there faster, nothing is truly stopping you from doing it, from ending it all.
Just a step towards the traffic, a slice into the wrist, a single trigger of a gunshot, a whole glass of caffeine concentrate, a shot of cyanide... It's not that hard.
But you're still there somehow, deep within there's still something that keeps you going, someone, and for that 1 sole reason you're still alive and breathing, even if it's a chore.
Life is exhausting, but you feel like if you could strive for that one thing everything will be alright. Even the whisper of the devil they call death isn't tempting anymore.
You've befriended that voice, made peace with it, you live your life like any other but you still have that intention.
You're a ticking timebomb now, ticking ever closer to the moment you end it all.
You're a ticking timebomb now, ticking ever closer to the moment you end it all.
Unless someone reaches out, or that one thing stays... There's nothing stopping you from ending your feeble existence on this plane.
It sucks, the voices sucks.
It sucks, the voices sucks.
Please, even if anyone seems really fine, if they show the slightest hint of being unwell, reach out.
Ask. "Are you okay?" "Can I help you with anything?"
Say something. "I can't do much but I'm here to listen if anything is happening." "I'm all ears if you want to vent."
Ask. "Are you okay?" "Can I help you with anything?"
Say something. "I can't do much but I'm here to listen if anything is happening." "I'm all ears if you want to vent."
It means a lot more than you think it does, just to have someone listen. Even if it's pointless, it feels less like despair.
