Perception bombs!

By objective measures, your performance is stellar! It's just that other people perceive you as [X].

Oh dear. Who perceives me that way?

I can't tell you that silly!

OK... can you tell me what *behavior* I should change?

Not really. But do better!

I've received another report of someone perceiving you as [X]

Oh no. I tried like 8 random things. I even "smile more."

Well, those things didn't work. Try another 8 random things?

Am I... being fired?

No silly! Well, not yet. We'd need like 5 of these! _ _ _

We need to talk again. We really want you to succeed!

Perception?

Yes. You did a thing for 10 people. 8 of them really liked it! 1 was neutral. But 1 thought you were being a bit [X]
_ _

So, you want me to please "All of the people, all of the time?"

Bingo!

*timeout*

At this point, our protagonist should realize that this is an unwinnable game. She should "Kabayashi Maru" herself outta there.

That feedback is not actionable. She can't fight a ghost. Punching air will leave her stressed out, drained, and worst of all, won't work.

2 ways to Kobayashi Maru, one OK, one preferable.

1) If you can't change your situation, then *change* your situation. New team, new manager, new org. Not preferable.

2) Name the thing. Address it head on. Point out the unwinnability to your management chain and sponsors.

The worst part is, there may be real feedback hiding inside this unactionable nonsense!

People think you can be condescending at times.

Is there a specific behavior I can change?

Yes! I've noticed that you often interrupt folk. That can make people feel small.

But lots of times, the feedback is not actionable.

You talk as if you're a subject matter expert!
But... I am the subject matter expert?
Yes, yes. But you talk like that too!

Or

You use data to make your arguments! That's not fair!
Data driven is bad?
I can't win!

Or the obvious:

Black women perceived as intimidating

Equity and Diversity employee perceived as being a subject matter expert

Black man perceived as aggressive

Asian woman perceived as lacking leadership presence

Non-US or EU born perceived as having communication issues

Our goal as managers, is to cut through the bias, cut through the non-actionable feedback, to deliver:

* useful
* actionable
* information

That someone who trusts us with their career can use to improve.

We should all develop a keen eye for seeing perception bombs.