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signs you are being abused. a thread:
1. Isolation: your abuser wants to know where you are all the time. takes control over your life such as family, friends, work. they will isolate you from friends & family & try to knock your confidence so you only rely on them solely. this is a power dynamic so you don’t leave
them bc then, they will b the only person u have left which makes it even harder to leave bc you feel that there is nowhere else to turn to.
2. Break your confidence down: they belittle you, make fun of the way you look, act speak. pick on the little things to knock ur confidence & make you feel insecure. they also make you feel stupid for having your own interests & hobbies which makes you feel like you have to stop
doing it, bc you start to feel ashamed & embarrassed over your interests after they humiliated you for it.
3. Making you feel like you have lost your mind: they turn on you, they may make out you are crazy. tell other people you are crazy and you start to believe that you are. they do or say certain things and then when you bring it up to them it’s like it never happened. they told
you that you imagined it, that you are taking this to seriously or that you are crazy for making it up. this isn’t the same as someone forgetting what happens. if someone genuinely forgot something that happened, they will say that they have forgot and they just can’t remember,
it’s not malicious or with bad intent. on the other hand abusers will make you feel crazy & will make you 100% believe they didn’t say or do it. they will call you crazy, deluded, that you need help ect for bringing something up that they said or done. so try not to get the two
mixed up. if someone is genuinely having memory loss about a situation compared to someone making you feel like you’re losing your mind and being verbally abusive. we all lose our memory sometimes you aren’t a bad person for that.
4. Entrapment: they will make you believe that they look after you, that you have to rely on them. even after they verbally, physically or emotionally abuse you they will try to get you to believe how sorry they are, how no one else will ever love you as much as they do. how no
one else would “put up with you” how “no one else would be with you” they make you believe you aren’t worthy enough for anyone else, that they are the only one that will stay around for you.
5. Guilt tripping: they are selfish. they don’t care about your feelings. they make you believe that the nice things they do means they care, like buying something for you or treating you, they will use that against you when they do something horrible. if you express you are
upset they tell you “i am not a bad person bc i do x, y, z nice things for you”. which belittles & invalidates you’re feelings, making you believe that you can’t be hurt by the bad things they done bc they treated you nicely another time. which is guilt tripping. they could be
physically abusive, seriously hurt you and still say afterwards that they done something nice for you another time so you shouldn’t be upset. they can also be abusive in anyway to you and afterwards treat you or take care of you, which makes you feel guilt.
6. Selfish: the same as before they don’t care about your feelings. their feelings will always come first. they will always be the one who is hurt and if you’re hurt that doesn’t matter, they can’t take responsibility for what they done wrong & own up to or admit it. so instead
they make you feel guilty. they say “i am the one who is hurt” after they hurt you. their reaction always is about them. it’s them, them, them. no one else’s feelings matter & if you talk about yours they shut you down or turn the conversation back to them.
7. Humiliation: they humiliate you infront of other people, make fun of you with their friends or family. tell people lies about you or talk about you behind your back. they make things up about you and say that you are crazy & try to turn everyone against you to isolate you even
more & when you bring it up to them, they will tell you that you are insane, paranoid and need help. they will make out it’s all in your head.
8. Deceive: they will cheat on you, lie to you, see other people behind your back and won’t see the problem with it. They will make you feel that it’s normal and that you should just deal with it.
9. Financial: they can also financially abuse you, rely on you for money leaving you with no money for the things you need as their needs come first and if you do say no to giving them money they will make your life extremely difficult so you end up saying yes.
It can also work in other ways, they can make you rely on them for money. They know that if they guilt trip you with money & expensive gifts that they can use it against you when they mess up. They will say that they are “a good person” because of what they “done for you”.
they are trying to make up for what they done to you with money. they are trying to guilt trip you or even rely on them.
10. Control: when you finally snap, try to leave or are at breaking point and don’t know what else to do they will guilt trip you. They will say that you are abusive for defending yourself, they will say sorry & tell you they will never do it again. they may threaten to kill
themselves if you leave. they may make it impossible for you to leave by harrassing you which can be done in many different forms. they may threaten you or entrap you. they may physically hurt you or become physical with you. they will do anything to make you feel guilty
feel like you are in the wrong or that you are the bad guy for leaving.
i don’t think i have covered everything. it feels like there’s sm more. i had to stop writing as this is to hard for me. but i just wanted to say:
abusers leave you with nothing, they strip you away from everyone you know, they take your confidence, they take your passion for
abusers leave you with nothing, they strip you away from everyone you know, they take your confidence, they take your passion for
life, they take your relationships. abuse leaves you with not much left, so having to then leave that abuse dynamic makes it a million times harder bc you don’t have anywhere to turn to. to whoever is in an any kind of abusive relationship, family dynamic or friendship, staying,
leaving or planning to leave. no matter what i hope u know how worthy you are & that you don’t deserve this. please know you are worth a billion than anyone who treats you this way. you have nothing to be ashamed of, you don’t deserve this. you aren’t in the wrong. i keep all
victims of abuse in my heart and pray for them that they get to escape safely & live a happy and healthy life. the life that they want, not a life that someone else controls. please stay safe, and know that you can turn to any of us online, in this thread to. you are not alone
i promise you. me and anyone else who finds this thread is right here beside you.
