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It's suicide prevention day today. So I wanna talk about something that's not spoken about often. To accommodate your grim discomfort, I'll use gifs of Teletubbies. Let's talk about ideation and how you can help someone close to you.
Ideation is far more common than studies suggest. Those of us with ideation affliction don't like bringing it up because lawt the guilt. When you've got a bag of depression guilt already...issalot.
You tell somebody hey I am thinking about this thing.
Usually the response is: OH NO WHAT DID I DO FOR YOU TO FEEL THIS WAY. Bathong, it's not about you. You think you're uncomfortable hearing this? We have to live with it. Head's a bad neighbourhood.
Usually the response is: OH NO WHAT DID I DO FOR YOU TO FEEL THIS WAY. Bathong, it's not about you. You think you're uncomfortable hearing this? We have to live with it. Head's a bad neighbourhood.
Because every fibre of human existence is driven to not die, the response to the very thought of such extremes is difficult to process... if that is not your baseline. Often, it's not that we WANT to die. It's just that we're very apathetic towards existing.
Actually putting those words out loud beyond the safe confines of a doctor's room can be very comforting and healing. You can help, but you're gonna have to do some work on yourself. We're ALWAYS doing the work, ya'll can make a bit of effort too.
1. Know our doctors. Their names, their numbers. The GP, the psych. If at any point you are not sure whether we are in danger, call them. We won't be mad.
2. Know our baseline. Hard when we're not always sure what that is. I spent the majority of my life believing that at least one daily episode of narrating and visualising my end was my baseline. Turns out it's not.
But you will figure out the baseline when you learn to make it NOT ABOUT YOU. The more we feel comfortable talking and articulating the thoughts (note: NOT enabling us), the more we can have a rational conversation about warning signs.
Forget everything you think you know about mental health conditions that the encyclopedia of Netflix medicine taught you. It wasn't until I was diagnosed with ADHD as a whole grown ass adult that I went ooooh, it's not outside, IT'S IN THE TOP (of my head).
If things are in a real moment and maybe there are tears or shouting and things get wild...don't say things like "that's not normal". Don't say "you'll get over it". Don't say "it's OK".
Say: "You are OK."
Say: "You are OK."
You think our brains aren't yelling THAT'S NOT NORMAL at use all the time when one part of the brain is trying to go against everything a brain is supposed to do - like keep us alive?
Don't ask a question if you are not prepared to hear the answer and sit with the discomfort without making it about you. But most importantly, be authentic. You can say "that's difficult for me to understand". We know.
It's difficult for us to process, too. That's why we wanna talk about it. It helps. In an emergency, call SADAG 0800 21 22 23.
And whether you are somebody with ideation or loves somebody with it, my DMs are always open if you need to reach out.
THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK
THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK
