Last month I was in a psych hospital for a week. We need to talk about how our mental health system treats people with mental illness. This is part of my story. {thread}

This was not my first time in the hospital, but it was by far the worst. I was there for symptoms connected to PTSD that made it clear that I was not safe and was there to get help.

They left me in a room, alone with no windows, only in a hospital gown, for 6 hours after my intake with no updates. Finally, they took me up to a unit. I was so grateful to be able to see a clock.

The time on my unit was filled with more traumatic experiences, the worst of which was a male patient coming into my room in the middle of the night. I woke up to my roommate yelling at him to get out.

It became clear that being in this place was only making my PTSD worse and was not helping me feel safe. When I explained to the doctor that I felt like a prisoner, she said, “Well, you kind of are our prisoner.”

Finally, I was discharged. And then this week something unimaginable happened.

I hadn’t spoken about my hospitalization because I didn’t want certain family members to know about it. Yesterday, my mother received an envelope from the hospital that was addressed to her name and address, where I haven’t lived for over 8 years.

So, my mom opened the envelope and inside were the details of my hospital stay. I woke up this morning to a text that said, “Were you in the psych hospital last month?” My heart sank. I had not wanted her to know.

This violation of my rights feels so close to the violation of the assault that gave me PTSD in the first place. I'm writing about it now to turn it on its head. I believe that all things are a part of God's plan. I want to use this for good.

Getting help for mental illness is difficult and often filled with undeserved shame. There are other places that treat their patients with dignity and the care that they need. We need to demand this dignity for all people who are suffering and vulnerable due to mental illness.

I was at Rockford Center, a hospital in Delaware. I’m naming them because I believe that they, and other facilities who have treated those with mental illness without the utmost respect, should not be trusted.

St. Dymphna, pray for us.