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Dear TV writer and industry fam, I want to do some talking about engaging with fandom. And I ask for your openness with this. Remove your quick defenses and consider reflection:
1. When engaging with upset fandom from marginalized communities please work to avoid words like toxic, abusive, crazy, bullies, delusional, trolls, harassment, etc. Why? Because you are helping to perpetuate a harmful and dangerous narrative about marginalized voices and trauma.
2. If people ARE bullying/harassing you in this context, focus on a. The message upsetting them in the 1st place and b. Keeping YOUR focus on the other voices, especially in how you react/draw attention. Are you victimizing yourself at the risk of demonizing marginalized voices?
I get it. I’ve been you. I’ve been defensive, ignorant, yesterday and last month and last year. I know it can feel fruitless and I know it seems like there is always anger coming at you.
That’s because there is always hurt. Certainly their hurt causing your hurt sucks. But never forget where their hurt comes from, never forget the pain and frustration that marginalized communities face both in fandom, in media, and right out in the real world.
What may seem like just twitter or just a show to you, may be a lifeline for them.
3. Avoid belittling the people upset with you. They’re not just “angry teens” or “the angry lesbians again.” They’re not just “people who need to get a life or go outside.”
3. Avoid belittling the people upset with you. They’re not just “angry teens” or “the angry lesbians again.” They’re not just “people who need to get a life or go outside.”
Consider the narrative that using language like that upholds. Consider the implications there. Many people in marginalized communities have to live their lives online, many are smart educated teens who have been forced to teach themselves. Are you doing your self teaching?
It is not “just a show” it is not “just two people kissing.” We ALL I assume know by now the value that representative media holds. For people who rarely see themselves, that desperate cling to something to identify with is even deeper.
Your ability to see media as “just a show” is a privilege. Recognize it.
4. Avoid condescending. I know. You know how the industry works, you know the ins and outs of your show and why decisions were made and they don’t. Do not hide behind what you know, listen to what you didn’t consider.
Don’t tell fans that you wouldn’t want to do things X way because you want to see it done “right” as though you are the barometer for what is right or good for a community. Understand that other people have different wants and needs. You have yours. That doesn’t make theirs bad.
5. Know your history. Throughout decades of fandom, marginalized communities have been treated as those very words we mentioned above. Angry, delusional, pushy, toxic, bullies. Have they probably been all of those things? Yes. But why?
Is their anger seen as more aggressive because they are other? Do they feel threatening to mainstream fandom communities, are they pushy and delusional because it is the only way they feel seen and heard? Are they upset because other people don’t have to be this upset?
There’s a gaslighting that occurs when society tells marginalized voices that they are too angry toxic or aggressive for demanding things be better. That gaslighting comes out when we tell LGBT fans that we would listen and love them more if they were simply more polite to us.
Avoid doing that. Avoid rallying your defenses so quickly that you don’t listen and learn. You are gaslighting. Accept that, fix it. We all make mistakes and hurt people. Fix them, work. Learn. Listen.
6. Leave your ego at the door. I understand that we as writers have a story to tell. I understand that your story is your baby. Know up front that your story is not some great all knowing masterpiece. You will not win everyone. You will miss the mark.
It is okay to hear outrage and go “huh, I didn’t think of that. I guess we could have done better by that.” And with that, do not approach your media and fandom with a “they are never happy” mentality. Fandom is not all one voice. One group may be happy and another may not.
Who is happy or not will change depending on what you’re doing. Do not make your work to be beloved. You will end up frustrated. Make your work to do the best you can with good faith. Continue to push yourself to be better.
When you approach marginalized fandom this way you once again, frame them as impossible to please, obtuse, unjustly angry. You frame yourself as the vicmtim when you don’t have to be.
7. If that’s what number I’m on. Ask questions. Ask them, ask someone you know, ask multiple voices and see if they can help you understand the parts that your ego or feelings or defensiveness causes you to miss. For other industry professionals, my inbox is always open.
If you’re engaging with LGBT fandom and want a fandom lesbian perspective, I’ve got your back I’m happy to talk you through stuff safely and honestly.
8. Do not forget that despite fandoms numbers and volume, you are the person with power in the dynamic. You have the power to shift how they are perceived by other fandoms, by your coworkers and community that follow you.
Use your power to protect them and their anger, to encourage others toward humility and grace, compassion and patience. Fuck up, learn, fix it. With good faith and the mindset that these are not your enemies, but voices worth hearing even if you cannot give them what they want.
WAIT one last thing to add to ruin my own big finish.
8. Know the differences in anger. An angry minority fan base upset about representation is not the same as the entitlement that comes with fans of white straight relationships who have seen themselves dozens of times.
8. Know the differences in anger. An angry minority fan base upset about representation is not the same as the entitlement that comes with fans of white straight relationships who have seen themselves dozens of times.
I worked on a show where nerd boy types would send us hate about being "too feminist." That's the kind of anger I can live with. In fact, I'd love some more of it. Know the difference between anger about things that you want to change, and anger that comes from The Bad Place.
Anger that rep sucks or that something is harmful is not the same as anger that their favorite cis white guy & gal broke up that ep. Outrage over story drama and outrage that stems from important, impactful issues are very very different. Make sure you have the right goggles on.
