“Zero fucks given” in other countries:

6. I don’t care a cucumber (Spain)
5. I don’t give a cabbage (Italy)
4. It’s sausage to me (Germany)
3. It interests me as much as a kilogram of shit (Finland)
2. It hurts me precisely in the pen (Bulgaria)
1. I slap my balls on it (France)

“I don’t care” phrases from the comments:

6. I give a cat (Norway)
5. You can dump it in the kiln (India)
4. Give me more news of the capelin (Iceland)
3. Why the door of my dick (Malta)
2. It can oxidize on my anus (Netherlands)
1. It bothers me like a cardboard duck (Denmark)

I'm proud to say that not once have I done one of those “this blew up, check out my Soundcloud” style tweets, and I never will. In other (totally unrelated) news, my book of lists, The Correct Order of Biscuits, is out Sep 17th and you can pre-order it now https://www.waterstones.com/book/the-correct-order-of-biscuits/adam-sharp//9781398701724