Thread by @VinceWuff, (1)Real Talk: The past 2-3 weeks have been HARD for me. I've [...]

Dad Wolf Teacher Partnered Streamer Extraordinaire

VinceWuff

(1)Real Talk:

The past 2-3 weeks have been HARD for me. I've not been okay mentally, and it's been a constant struggle to stream.
There are a lot of things contributing to this, and I've had breakdowns every week.

No lie, I felt like I wanted to walk away from everything.

(2) Some of things contributing to this mental overload have included HEAVY friendship complexities that have affected me negatively, back-to-school prep overload and teaching, unbearable streamer situations, severe familial hang ups, unclear expectations, and personal baggage.

(3) I've been scarce in the Twitch scene. Thinking about watching other streams is draining. Streaming on my main account is daunting, and I've only dabbled a bit back into my alt account to get the wheels greased again.

I'm planning to join other people's streams, but...

(4) ...even that is a little stressful.

I've taken about 2 weeks off from streaming, going on 3 now, and I'm amazed at how many folks have checked in on me. Thank you.

Folks have told me I should 'take my time' and that everything is going to be alright. I'm very grateful...

(5) to hear all the positivity, but please keep in mind, platitudes can be dangerous.

What if I don't want to be alright or okay 'right now'?

What if I just want to be in my feels and experience them, and have maybe a friend or two join me... just to experience it with me?

(6) I don't think some problems need to be 'fixed'. They need to be 'felt', and shown it's okay to feel.

I don't think it's anyone's responsibility to do that with me though. In fact, I'm grateful to have a friend actually 'sit with me' and join me in my 'mental pit'...

(7) Of course... I didn't realize I needed exactly that until my mental anguish started to lighten up.

I think there's some value in catharsis.

Especially for someone who didn't grow up being told it's okay to 'feel negatively'. Or was even taught how to 'get out' of it....

(8) But, it's okay.

I have a lot more now than I've had before.

I'm very fortunate and thankful to have a wonderfully supportive network of folks and loved ones who genuinely care for my well-being.

Even though it's been a bit rough, it's still bearable. I just need time.

(9) Reflecting back on what I recently told someone,and what someone told me over a decade ago.

"You never leave... you just take a break. You'll always come back..."

It's true. The love severely outweighs the pain. But I think the pain reminds me to appreciate the love too.