Last year-4 months before Aust caught fire- I wrote in a policy document that it is important to cut emissions to manage the risk of natural disasters. After feedback from a mining supply chain lobbyist, this was cut out.

When I confronted the person responsible I was informed that my words were an 'error of fact'. My contract, which we had agreed would be renewed, was not renewed without explanation. I did not work in the industry for a year.

For various other reasons (this is the tip of the iceberg of the sitiation) this was one of the worst experiences of my life. The experience of being gaslit by someone you trusted and punished when you didn't do anything wrong.

It is still something I mourn and will always mourn because it feels like a death. A loss of the integrity and courage there might have been, which I believed in, which didn't exist.

But I know now that the things you choose *not* to do, to acquiesce to, are as important as the things that you do. I didn't go along with it. It is always possible to withhold your complicity, your acquiescence. You can always do that.

so yeah this def happens lol

Https://amp.theguardian.com/environment/2020/sep/09/australian-scientists-say-logging-mining-and-climate-advice-is-being-suppressed

I thought very seriously about going public but in the end I decided not to. Because if it was not this particular person/ institution, it would be someone else.

People in high profile positions might be talented, but that’s not *why* they’re there. They are there becaue of their willingness to complicity. 'The relationship between capitalism and climate change does not turn on questions of personnel’ -

- this goes for public, private and non-profit sectors alike. You are not the exception. Your personal 'goodness' will not transcend the structural imperatives of your role.

'Political capital' is not transferrable. You cannot do favours for ecocidal capital and think you can convert this into respite from ecocide, later. Through your personal charm, perhaps. That's not how it works. These processes don't run on charm, they run on power.

But the flipside of this is: the work, the solidarity and yes, the love you show outside of these structures *is* your actual power. It is the place you can 'do things'. So: love your comrades! Be there for your fucking comrades! It's all there is.

(speaking of comrades: here is a chat about Aust climate politics and shit that is fucked up) https://libcom.org/blog/take-cheesecake-ride-horse-conversation-sl-lim-10072020