I should be open about it since all the stuff that is happening recently.
I shouldn't be worried about people thinking I'm an attention whore for how I feel.
1/?

I had another failed suicide attempt some time ago and this tim things were pretty serious, I jumped off the balcony and got literally blessed, while falling I managed to grab the second floor's balcony and make the hurt a lot less impactful.
I truly risked death this time
2/?

I feel blessed and the shock was massive, I still can't belive I have the chance to still be alive. I did the imoossible and saved my life, which I waa going to waste at 18 yo
Problem is, life is still doing it's best to make things hard for me, and after a year and half
3/?

I still can't get over the fact that my ex left me. I spent some time in the hospital to get some help about it, but every time I feel some improvement there's some very bad thought that kills all of my work.
These bad thoughts aren't as frequent as before
4/?

But they still haunt me
My heart skips a beat every time I read that my friends are depressed and can't live the happy life they deserve, because I'm in the same situation and can't think of a way to help them.
I will be strong, I won't do anything bad anymore to myself
5/?

I will fight for my friends and for their happiness, I will do anything in my will to help them.
There are a lot of taiko players who feel this way so let's fight this together.
I'll get over my problems, I will fix my life and help you guys doing the same
We'll get out of this.