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Good evening dear ones, how are you? How was your day?
Today, we would be discussing, 'The fine art of being there'
Today, we would be discussing, 'The fine art of being there'
This one is for you friend. It almost feels like you're in pain as you see your loved ones in pain. It's difficult to let them be, especially because you want to be there for them. It's borne out of good intention but the thing is you could end up doing more damage than good
if you are not conscious of a few things.
1. 'I understand, in fact, I've been through worse'
You have an understanding of what your person may be going through so naturally you want to to relay your story, but please remember to be careful not to project your situation on someone who is hurting.
You have an understanding of what your person may be going through so naturally you want to to relay your story, but please remember to be careful not to project your situation on someone who is hurting.
If you're telling a personal story, it should be with the aim of letting them know they are not alone. It is not a 'who-has-it-worse' competition.
2. 'All is well. God has a reason for everything'. Stay away from the cliché lines. They are true yes but it has been used so much
2. 'All is well. God has a reason for everything'. Stay away from the cliché lines. They are true yes but it has been used so much
and desensitized to the point that they don't mean anything anymore. Remember, empathy is key. In that moment, all isn't well. Let your actions reflect the empathy you also want your words to portray. Your actions in this case includes body language, your replies, attitude,
your availability.
3. 'How long do you want to be like this?' You probably hoped this would help by activating the logical side of the person right? In an emotional situation, it is an epic fail! You have to be patient, which means not rushing them to get over it
3. 'How long do you want to be like this?' You probably hoped this would help by activating the logical side of the person right? In an emotional situation, it is an epic fail! You have to be patient, which means not rushing them to get over it
or giving a timeline. It's unnecessary pressure and doesn't help their healing process. Sounds obvious but many times we do this unconsciously. Understand that people grief differently and their process might be different from what you are familiar with.
4. 'I'm here anytime'. Keep in mind that it is possible for something to trigger. Learn to know your limits. Don't be afraid to say "This is more than I can handle, but I can direct you to someone who will be there for you the way you need".
Know your boundaries. Understand your limits and triggers. Sometimes we are in a place where we aren't fully healed and broken dishes don't serve effectively.
To the one who is hurting, often times, you'll only be able to see your pain, for pain has a way of clouding our senses with disillusions that it's bigger than it is. It's hard to remember dear one, but never forget that no matter how intense,
