I was in hospital for a week during Ruperts birth
I was admitted with Pre eclampsia- my blood pressure was sky high and I was told and induction was needed immediately
I was scared, and I was alone because the rules said I was only allowed support when I was actively in labour

The induction was painful, it lasted for days.
All the while my blood pressure increased- I was looking at needing to have a cesarean section.
I had to have these big decision conversations over the phone with my fiancé. I had to explain what the doctors meant whilst in pain

When I was finally at a point to go to delivery suite, Andy was finally allowed in.
It was the first time we had seen each other in 5 days.
I cried with relief because he was my safety net. He knows my complex medical condition better than I do, he’s the one that looks after me

We had a good birth- the whole team were amazing!
We had time together as a family. Mid morning we were planning to get me upstairs- which meant Andy would have to leave.
I sat up, and passed out! I had a huge haemorrhage- my hb was 64 I wasn’t feeling well at all

After a blood transfusion, whilst also trying to breastfeed my child, mobilise and cope with post partum issues I was taken up to post nates late at night.
We had a hurried goodbye and my child wouldn’t see his dad again for another 4 days

In that 4 days my hb never got past 70, I was having to care for a newborn myself, express because he wouldn’t breastfeed, and do every bit of care for my child because my support system was taken away from me.
Rupert needed phototherapy- but hated being undressed

That meant for 4 days- he lay on me, the entire time, which meant for 4 days I didn’t sleep! I had a blue light shining on me.
There wasn’t a reprieve because I wasn’t allowed anyone with me to support me.
I got told we had to stay in another night and I broke down on the phone

My mental health was at an all time low.
I felt I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t be a mum to this perfect little boy!
Why? Because I was doing it completely on my own, I couldn’t manage on my own- it made me feel like a failure.

I sat and cried all night whilst this baby slept on me!
I wanted to be home, I wanted to just be able to have a shower, to have a break from they crying, fro the blue lights- to just be able to have some sleep.
I was beyond running on empty- my hb still not rising

A dad or partner is not a visitor! They are a PARENT to the child!
What you are doing @MattHancock is horrific to both the mother and their partner!
You are isolating them from their support network when we are most vulnerable and need them

I don’t understand how places such as pubs can be open, yet you can’t organise a way of families being able to be together.
Where mothers aren’t isolated and alone, how dads or partners miss some of the most important parts of their child’s life!
Everything #ButNotMaternity

I do not begrudge the NHS for their rules- and I cannot thank the team I had enough! They did everything they could!
This is solely the issue of @MattHancock @BorisJohnson and their horrific government for forgetting about the most vulnerable whilst putting money and economy 1st

Through out my pregnancy I had to retrospectively explain decisions made about mine and my child’s care to his dad because he wasn’t allowed to be there.
Andy had to head over the phone that I may become extremely ill during childbirth and need intensive care

No support was given to him whilst he had to consider a reality of me being critically unwell during and after birth.
A phone call is no way to prepare someone for that.
Scans were terrifying, going on my own hoping things were going to be ok, but Noone there to support

He missed out on so much!
We missed out on so much as a couple, as a new family, as a first time pregnancy!
We were scared, we were isolated all down to your rules!
#ButNotMaternity

In the grand scheme of things- I was bloody lucky
I can’t begin to imagine families dealing with loss, miscarriage, NICU admission
I know on the grand scheme I was nowhere near the worst affected! But Christ-how is this being allowed! How are we not more outraged #ButNotMaternity