It’s TIME!

The induction has begun so if you don’t want to hear about all things baby for the next few days then you should probably mute me.

“Will you be getting an epidural?”

Regular contractions, but not in active labor. AMA

They’re trying to dilate me faster, but there’s no sign of drugs.

Not a drop of drugs.
Not a single morsel of drugs.
Zero drugs.

At last! They gave me an oxy!

It’s... uh... not working yet.

This part before the epidural is bullshit. Stay on birth control, kids.

Fentanyl and ice chips are my only friends.

I just woke up from my fentanyl coma to my nurse starting pitocin. We’re half way there!

Nurse: “You’re probably going to throw up.”

Me: “From what? ”

Nurse: “Pain”

Me: “Wait? Did you write down
E P I D U R A L? I’m not trying to be a hero”

The waters have been broken, I repeat, I have no more waters.

The epidural is in and I only cried once.

I woke up from a nap in the middle of actually having a baby!

Introducing: Marlowe Dean Willis