Good Afternoon. Shall we begin?

This is either somebody who has never read a book before, or someone very good at making jokes about never having read a book before.

I love this.

This is poetry.

This is beautifull

You know someone is excited when they cannot get any of their tenses right.

I just realized the protagonist's name is supposed to resemble AOC's so the author is clearly smarter than me.

I love how this is practically improvised on the spot and not edited at all.

I have witnessed very few authors brave enough to say that a lot of their interior monologue is repeating "I don't want to think of that right now."

I'm not even kidding. I think this all the time.

The three genders.

This is a good sign. I think having run-on questions on signs is an underrated protest tactic. I would be following this person all day.

I was complaining a lot lately about disembodied sentences where the subject is manipulatively removed, but the exaggerated subjects in this are amazing.

"Would you have passed this if you ever a man?"....my breath got caught in between my throat......

I love their way of turning consciousness into prose.

"the overloading crowd" is a phrase that could only have been conceived by a beautiful mind.

Would Browning, Virginia Woolf, Faulkner or Joyce be brave enough to write the sentence "my thoughts were proven wrong?"

No reader, only our author is that brave.

You know it's a good novel when the protagonist's name changes in the first chapters.

"I shook his hand out of curtsey"

When somebody laughs fully at your words.

lol

I love the sentence "curiosity didn't let me sleep" and how this could have been imported wholesale from the Renaissance, albeit put through Google Translate several times.

So so far the plot is Congresswoman totally-not-AOC is trying to pass a bill to make men pay a million dollars for divorces, meets a guy among the protesters who meets her a second time in private. She is falling in love.

o no the "head of the congress" behind the divorce fine bill also wants to abolish the police.

Not-AOC moved to Seattle "following the demands of my work" but also got elected there??

YES.

It's the sudden changes of verb in the middle of a sentence that really makes the prose come alive for me.

So the crowd protesting the Million Dollar divorce bill followed not-AOC from Washington, DC, to Seattle, Washington, presumably marching the whole way.

I should add just how hilarious it is that the love interest's first name is "Corner"

"You should get your things ready for jail" is one of the most wonderful middle-class naiveties I have ever heard.

"My mind was filled with so many thoughts that it was going to explode."

I'm not exactly an expert in Seattle Real Estate, but having an extra guest room that nobody has used in two years seems pretty expensive for all the cities I have lived in.

So the protagonist (not-AOC) has her Seattle windows smashed in and falls asleep alone and afraid, only to have Corner save her and bring her to the hospital. Then we find out she had a head of security this whole time???

Not-AOC is now staying with Corner who was protesting the million dollar divorce bill in Washington, DC and is now in Seattle in an apartment that has an empty guest room he has never used but maintained a bedspread in???

When you're dead you sleep for 8 hour intervals without interruption. Sounds fun!

Pretty sure band-aids over stitches could use some medical disclaimers.

I think we are at Exhibit E that the author is a man.

I love the way this author writes sentences.

So back to the "Head of security" I don't know what he is supposed to do?? Deliveries?

Toothbrush patrol?

Foreshadowing????

The people who smashed in the windows of your house trusted me because "I'm a protester myself" and also an assistant director of marketing??

Among my reasons to suspect the author is competently but occasionally tin-eared ESL

Again, I don't think the author realizes Washington DC and Washington States are on different sides of the country.

Once again, apparently it's feasible in Seattle to have an unused guest bedroom in your apartment for years???

Almost certain that parody or not, this was written by a man.

When your confused faces are trying to adjust everything in your head.

Who is Mr. Lockwood? Why does he only show up once in this novel without any explanation? How could the protesters "betray her" when they thought she was against them earlier?

I LOVE PUNCUTATION!!!!!

It should be mentioned, we are in Chapter 7 of 10, Antifa has not shown up at all, the main controversy is the million dollar divorce bill and the author burned two chapters with the characters lounging around an apartment yelling at the TV.

"Was Corner hiding something form me" is a very unique sentence for a very unique book.

"I had lived with this man in his house. Slept in his head." is either an incredible mixed metaphor or an incredibly avoidable spelling error.

FACE PALE AS A POTATO

If you're going to write a hot-off-the-press current events novel (which isn't a bad idea!) at least include some reference to Covid. This was released in August of this year.

You're only allowed to smell food for the first four minutes after it has been served. It's a rule.

1. "We talked about how I am a cliché and he agreed."

2. "I talked about something I loved and he agreed that I love it."

The most awkward possible way to implement a text message into the text of your novel.

THE LOGIC PART OF MY BRAIN WAS KNOCKING ON MY FANTASY DOOR.

A truly inimitable paragraph.

WE ARE AT CHAPTER NO. 8 AND ANTIFA HAS NOT SHOWN UP YET AND THE BOOK FEATURES AN ALARMING LACK OF ANY SMUT.

I need to break for a bit but I'll finish this up when I get back!

This opening question and invocation of "dirty fate" makes this passage resemble a Greek Chorus to me,,,,

I thought the back of her hand had all the stitches and was supposed to stay dry. Also, I have no idea what the author thinks her hair is doing here.

I mentioned the alarming lack of politics so far, but this sudden father-son dynamic gets the closest, especially since I cannot think of any real-world precedents except maybe Tim Kaine's son???

It should be mentioned, we have no reason to believe they have any relationship so far beyond sleeping at his house and chastely for two (2) nights and one (1) dinner together.

Gaslighting myself to forget my ex.

My phone ringed....I swipe opened

You know he's a good security guard because he gave up when somebody asked to come see you two times.

So after 3:30 PM the protagonist believes she can go from Seattle to "Congress House Hall" to give a press conference. The author does not know Washington State and Washington DC are different places.

*to give a press conference in two hours.

So plot update, not-AOC stays at "Corner's" appartment for two nights, announces her opposition to the Million Dollar Divorce bill (after she voted for it) then finds out her love interest is the (house?) leader's son.

They break up acrimoniously, and in the last awful chapter admitted she might love him as security dragged him from her apartment, then showed up for an event downtown only to be physically dragged away by somebody.

We're in "Chapter No. 9" and we have yet to see anything remotely resembling smut or Antifa. There is a casual reference to the (house?) leader Benedict Wilbur favouring abolishing police (lol) but nothing that could have been written in 2017.

Almost done, and "Chapter No. 9" opens with a repetition of the opening line and the gorgeous sentence "but my end was already written in front of me."

It's basically poetry!

Basically "As I Lay Dying" wrt multiple distinctive voices.

I don't think the author knows the difference between a cut and a scar?

So totally-not-AOC was trapped in a burning building by mysterious men and then the building caught fire. This is sad because "She was the one girl that intrigued [Corner] enough to puzzle [Corner's] mind."

This is not remotely what smoke inhalation looks like outside of a Max Fleischer cartoon.

Such an ear for dialogue.

It looks like she's okay!

This sucks so much.

Okay, we're getting back

o no Benedict Wilbur [house?] leader was behind everything this whole time!

"Somehow I did not make up with my Father-in-Law who tried to murder me in a burning building. The rest of our families were great together."

WHOSE CUTTIN ONIONS???

"Your perfect"

This novel sucked. Antifa doesn't even show up (probably because they're lazy!) and there is an alarming poverty of smut.

Thanks so much for @Loki1001 for gifting me the book, I am glad none of us spent real money on it!

This is the absolute closest we get to a sex scene and the characters even say they don't want to do anything.

Not trashy enough, not even current events enough, not Antifa enough, not pulpy enough. I suggested at one point writing a Gone with the Wind faux-epic novel based on protests, but this is far more like Daisy Ashford's The Young Visiters right down to the juvenile spelling errors

@threadreaderapp Unroll Please.