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Be discerning with people who want blind loyalty but don’t have the basic skills to take ownership for harms, accountability for mistakes or the awareness of how to do the work to repair damage they have done to their relationships. These are all valid red flags.
This idea of wanting people who stick by you through everything, sounds good on paper but it lacks depth. I have no issue with forgiveness and I’m not someone who holds grudges. But a basic need I have in relationships is being considerate of emotional labor and energy exchange.
Many times when I walk away from relationships it has nothing to do with being upset, mad, or unforgiving. It actually has to do with me noticing the amount of emotional labor I would need to do based on that persons relationship blueprint and it just feels draining to be honest.
I’m not teaching anyone how to be a good friend at this point in my life. We can always navigate personal preferences and boundaries. But if the basic skills of relating aren’t already in place, nothing personal, but it’s a no for me.
