On coddling boys:

The cold hard truth is that once a boy reaches a certain age, no one gives a F*CK about him

He literally goes from a "promising young man" to INVISIBLE seemingly over night

Women (moms and teachers) are UNABLE to know this phenomenon so can't prepare him

Show them pictures of a "promising young man" in high school who just hit puberty, and their maternal sense kicks in

Show the same "young man" out of college, broke, out of shape, searching for his purpose, and youll inspire absolute DISGUST, if they even resister feeling at all

A woman can't ever know how jarring this is for a man. How rapidly society's estimation of your "value" DROPS (that is if you were lucky enough to be valued as a boy to begin with)

This just doesn't happen for women

If she's sexually attractive at all, society will still tell her she's amazing (men will lie to her, and she'll always have someone close to her to "connect with"... some simp will even pay for pictures of her feet. SMH)

But a new young "man", with no money, no social status, no career, not in shape, not a 9 or 10 looks-wise, no social skills (i.e. most men starting out)... he's absolutely invisible to women

And due to the "Matthew effect", this condition will earn the DISDAIN of most of society

A downward "pressure" will be set upon him, taking shape in various experiences of rejection from peers, employers, potential sexual partners, and eventually himself

But as fathers, and uncles, and mentors we can combat this if we care enough:

1. DON'T CODDLE BOYS
After 7-9 years old the boy needs to learn to master his emotions. He needs to be CONSCIOUSLY aware of the space between stimuli and response and his ability (responsibility) to choose how he reacts. HE CAN'T BE A GIRL, because no one is coming to save him

2. GAME & BOUNDARIES
At 9-11 years old the boy needs to see his dad interact with other men & women. Flirt, influence, escalat & de-escalate conflict, establish boundaries w/strangers, "flex" on someone, actually tussle (martial arts), and MOST importantly ignore/rise above BS

3. FITNESS
A boy cannot be permitted to neglect his body. Knowing what we know, this is abuse

He needs to believe that daily disciplines is required as PAYBACK for the gift of the body he's been given

Luckily we don't have to inspire this, its innate. Model it, don't squash it

4. TREATMENT OF THE MEEK
Put him in a position where he needs to guide the weaker, less experienced, less able, or younger. Camp counselor, assistant coach, tutor, something. He needs to find his own natural “leading and caring” voice. If he doesn't, he cant be husband or father

5. EVERYTHING IS HIS FAULT, ALWAYS
Something shitty happens? "AWESOME! I can't wait to see what you create from THIS!"

"Dad... this [crappy thing happened "to me"]:

"I know, I'm over here wondering how you're going to respond. Go ahead... I'm watching"

Don't take your wife's advice. She's wrong. She thinks he'll always be valuable because a) she was, and b) he always will be valuable [to her]

But you know better. A man must BUILD his value and people only come to help when he's already winning

So while he's too young to be expected to earn money or social status, focus on helping him master his mental, emotional, and physical

Then after puberty, focus on helping him master his social

Then at 18-20 intensely focus on helping him master his financial

Put him in a position to LEAD HIS OWN 20s executing the discipline that leads to mastery in physical, social, mental, emotional, and financial

Then he'll arrive at his 30s rich, fit, w/ strong social game, emotionally and mentally healthy

ONLY THEN monogamy can be considered..

If women are good at anything, its locating and attracting themselves to a man who is PEAKING

If a boy wasn't coddled in his youth, rather guided to take responsibility for himself and build his own value, he will have ZERO issue finding a good woman and building a strong family