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Thinking about names today. At my undergrad, everyone was addressed by their honorific - Mr/Ms/Mx Lastname. Every classmate learned my "difficult" last name. We'd practice with each other to make sure we were pronouncing them correctly. 1/
The profs...did not. I think part of this is they were trying to learn the sound after reading the written version (misleading for my name), but more of it was about the imbalance of power. Senior year, I had a prof who never once used my name, because she couldn't say it. 2/
Other students used my name in her class. She could have learned. If someone new joined our class and struggled, we'd coach them through it ("As Ms Rav- Rava-" "Ravilochan" "As Ms Ravilochan?-" (students nodding) "-was saying...") 3/
Another prof called me and another female classmate by our first names - the equivalent of a boss calling you "sweetie." We were shocked, angry, and dismissed bc he was old and venerable. 4/
Names are about power and respect. Refusing to honor someone's basic identity is a statement of the belief that you matter more than them, and we downplay it culturally, calling it not that big a deal, saying people are too sensitive for wanting to be recognized. 5/
I think about this with GRRM and the Hugos, I think about this with people using deadnames and with bureaucracy that doesn't allow for gender neutral honorifics. The prof who wouldn't use my name made me invisible in our seminar-style class. 6/
If she did that much harm to a relatively privileged person, what harm would the same thing do to someone visibly non-white, to someone trans or nonbinary? Erasing identities is violence. Names have power. Use them, and use them right. 7/7
