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Cheltenham Town Hall. It's 10 years this month since I worked there so here's a thread of mundane celebrity interactions and memories.
1. The Stylistics accidentally went to Chelmsford and had to cancel.
1. The Stylistics accidentally went to Chelmsford and had to cancel.
2. Millionaire JK Rowling refused to pay for a ticket at a Literature Festival talk because she knew the speaker.
In hindsight, not the worst thing she's come out with.
In hindsight, not the worst thing she's come out with.
3. Once, a group of us all stood around and admired Michael Parkinson's car. Curtis Stigers joined us and did the same.
4. Joe Pasquale broke wind in front of me.
5. A very famous comedian was hungry and rather rude to me in his desperation to get food.
I won't name them but it put me right off watching Dara O'Briain's Go 8 Bit.
I won't name them but it put me right off watching Dara O'Briain's Go 8 Bit.
6. Orchestra conductors were routinely the worst people on the planet.
Lord, give me the confidence of a boring middled-aged man who can count to 4 and wave a little stick.
Lord, give me the confidence of a boring middled-aged man who can count to 4 and wave a little stick.
7. Van Morrison insisted the venue get him a TV to watch. We did. He never watched it once.
I did, plenty of times. Most notably during the 2006 World Cup. Thanks, Van. In your stupid hat.
I did, plenty of times. Most notably during the 2006 World Cup. Thanks, Van. In your stupid hat.
8. I'm convinced I once saw a ghost.
9. I was once slightly brusque to Tony Robinson who looked a bit taken aback.
He forgave me though and I subsequently featured with him on the DVD of the show (see below).
He forgave me though and I subsequently featured with him on the DVD of the show (see below).
10. People would call to buy tickets for psychic Sally Morgan and ask if sitting up in the balconies would affect the ability of spirits to get in touch. Like it was phone signal.
11. Sally Morgan's posters would bill her as "Princess Diana's personal psychic".
I'm not sure that's the sign of quality you think it is, Sally.
I'm not sure that's the sign of quality you think it is, Sally.
12. Jimmy Carr was continually, unfailingly, lovely.
13. I was once a minder for Richard Hammond during a signing and his fans were insane. They brought him homemade cakes and biscuits for his children.
He may as well have opened the cupboard under his sink and told his kids to have a swig on these.
He may as well have opened the cupboard under his sink and told his kids to have a swig on these.
14. At a signing for one of Hammond's science books, a gushing father said "thanks for coming to Cheltenham!" Richard, who was dead behind the eyes, quietly said to no one "but I live here..."
15. I sold a ticket to a lady named 'Carol Christmas'.
16. During the Literature Festival the organisers would have loads of new free books earmarked for sponsors. But because the sponsors were proper Tory I used to help myself.
17. Jim Davidson rocked up in a really horrible bright green knitted jumper. Although that obviously wasn't the most objectionable thing about him. He also cooked a load of bacon for his crew for some reason.
18. A woman was once incredibly rude to me when asking if we had any last minute ticket returns for a surprise talk by Steven Moffat. We had just one. I told her no and sold it to someone else.
Don't be rude, folks.
Don't be rude, folks.
19. Billy Ocean saw me reading and asked "good book?". I said yes. It was Choke by Chuck Palahniuk.
*house lights come up*
