It’s not always our coping mechanisms that are the problem but our relationship to them & whether we’re in control of them.

So here’s a short thread about why this unopened bottle means so much to me.

There’s nothing wrong with a few drinks a week or going out with your mates at the weekend etc. The issue with alcohol especially is that it’s such a strong part of British culture we often don’t know if we’re drinking because we want to, we feel we ‘should’ or it’s just habit.

I’ve never been a drinker & can go months without it but during my rape investigation last year I was so traumatised I drank daily for 56 days. Never more than 3 or 4 vodka lemonades though often doubles but I felt I *needed* it to get through the day.

I had rules: no alcohol at home because I could no longer trust myself & I could only drink after work but had 3/4 local pubs I’d visit weekly to avoid suspicion about my drinking habits. Drinking suddenly felt wrong & shameful.

One day I no longer felt the need to drink to get through my day but that day I bought this bottle to test myself. I’ve been out drinking many times since & enjoyed myself immensely but I didn’t want to open my home bottle because I wasn’t sure I could do it without slipping.

Tonight I opened the bottle I’ve had since June last year & poured myself a lovely vodka lemonade because I wanted to not because I felt I needed it or just because it was there. Ask yourself why you’re drinking & try to drink 1 less unit just so you know you can