I want to talk real quick about assumptions we make about Zoom professionalism, esp. vis-a-vis expectations instructors have of their learners, and I want to talk about affect: a thread.

Almost to a one, my colleagues have been wonderful about the near ubiquitous presence of my three-year-old at most meetings, office hours, and one-on-one consultations throughout the pandemic. I'm grateful. I also don't have any other choice.

Very occasionally, someone has made a comment about it. They're meant in jest, to be sure. They're also meant to make me aware that I am working outside the bounds of "professionalism."

The nature of my faculty support job means I'm on video conference a minimum of two hours a day, usually more like 4-6. Today I have four hours; yesterday I had a whopping seven.

So an occasional comment like, "Oh, didn't realize I was calling into a daycare!" doesn't sound like much, I guess. But here's the affective experience: shame and frustruation. I didn't ask for this. I know it's not ideal. I'm also trapped here.

So think of any taxonomy of self-actualization. Here's what I'm not doing when I'm having an affective experience of shame and frustration: I'm not problem-solving, and that's why you called me. I can't. I'm stuck.

And that's when I'm working with colleagues, in an equal relationship, where I have a sense of my own competency and professional autonomy.

If I'm a student, and your framework for professionalism traps me in feelings of shame and frustration? And you have power over -- and a fiduciary responsibility to -- me? Well, I'll tell you something for nothing: I'm not learning.

Whether you're upset about a failure of circumstance -- child/elder care, workspace -- or what you perceive as a failure of self-regulations, no one is asking for this. No one invited these circumstances into their life.

Don't compound these difficulties by layering your expectations of what is "professional" on students who are already overtaxed. (And be kind to your faculty support too, they're very tired.)