Hi again #mockpit folks! I'm back and ready to discuss effective pitching again. Last time, I talked a lot about Xena pitches (see quoted thread)

This time, I'd like to talk about list pitches! You know the ones. A thread. (1/?) https://twitter.com/mvwrite/status/1266038877938044930

Let's start with a fake example:

A cinnamon roll dragon-trainer
A dragon-fighting warrior girl
A broken family
A chance to stop dragon-killing for good

MG F

What story is this? Do you know? Are you thrilled by the prospect of it based on this tweet alone? (2/?)

If you guessed How To Train Your Dragon—nice work!

But let's think back to the movie (Sorry—I'm more familiar with the movie). What makes it interesting/fun? Is it just the characters?

Or is it the characters plus something. Like
Characters +
Motivation
Conflict
Stakes

(3/?)

You know the answer.

It's characters plus! So, back to list pitching.

If you're listing off characters only, your list pitch may not be as effective as you want it to be. This is not to say that pitching in a list format is bad.

But you have to give characters plus.
(4/?)

Since I can already hear the shrieking,

Heck, Ellie, even you put more than the characters in your fake list!

It's true I did. So what's the problem?

You ready?

The problem is that I didn't show how they connect and the connection needs to be there.

(5/?)

The connection can be explicit or implied. New Ex:
A cinnamon-roll boy desperate to meet his dad's dragon-killing expectations
(Rescues+Trains)
The dragon his dad shot out of the sky
(Forming)
An unlikely friendship
(Presenting)
A chance to save humans and dragons alike
(6/?)

Sure, it's still not the best, but I have a better sense of the story (and I don't even need the information in the parentheses).

So. If you are using a list pitch, see what you can do to help us make those connections. Then decide if list pitching is right for your story!
(7/7)

See the potential connections.