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hello.
if you are currently thinking about planning for your possible death & you want to ensure someone handles your funeral arrangements who is NOT your current legal next of kin, you need a durable power of attorney for healthcare, NOT a will.
if you are currently thinking about planning for your possible death & you want to ensure someone handles your funeral arrangements who is NOT your current legal next of kin, you need a durable power of attorney for healthcare, NOT a will.
a will CAN do what you want it to do, but it’s more complicated in the long term & handles more than specifying who handles your funeral arrangements.
within the DPOAHC you can declare who handles your funeral arrangements, as well as what you want those funeral arrangements to be. a funeral home legally has to obey a DPOAHC.
you do not need a lawyer to write a DPOAHC, but it DOES have to follow the rules of your state. you often need a witness. usually the paperwork must be notarized.
a DPOAHC can also have control of medical decisions should you be unable to make these decisions on your own. you can specify what you designate as quality of life, what medical procedures you’re willing to have performed, etc.
you can file your DPOAHC with your local hospital, your healthcare providers, and local funeral homes if you have family who won’t recognize who you are or how you live your life (especially if you’re trans or genderqueer or any of the above.)
you can find sample DPOAHCs online. many hospitals have them. many medical providers have copies.
please do the work now. life is not promised; only death is a guarantee.
please do the work now. life is not promised; only death is a guarantee.
additionally, if you’re extremely concerned about how your family would or would not handle your funeral arrangements, you can handle your arrangements with a local funeral home WHILE you are alive.
this is called “preneed planning.” you can specify every single thing you want done in regards to your funeral. in pandemic times, you can absolutely do this via email or telephone with your local funeral home.
you can even pay for your funeral arrangements by taking out what’s essentially a funeral insurance policy. you can pay in one lump sum or in small monthly payments (as in, very small. as in, $25 or less, depending on what you arrange.)
if you have not specified otherwise, legal NOK follows a specific order:
if married, it’s your spouse.
next are your children (they have equal say; if you have 6 kids, majority must agree.)
next are your parents. even if divorced, they have equal say.
next are your siblings.
if married, it’s your spouse.
next are your children (they have equal say; if you have 6 kids, majority must agree.)
next are your parents. even if divorced, they have equal say.
next are your siblings.
next are your siblings (who have equal say and majority must agree.)
next are your grandparents.
next are your uncles/aunts.
it gets complicated after that.
if that does not work for you, DECLARE A DPOAHC.
next are your grandparents.
next are your uncles/aunts.
it gets complicated after that.
if that does not work for you, DECLARE A DPOAHC.
no one is in the wrong for not having accomplished this. we do a crap job of talking about death because we’re a death denying society who wants to pretend it isn’t inevitable for all of us. but it is. and now you know.
if you’re part of a bank, they’ll likely have a notary you have access to.
if not, there are many places that offer notary services. (like the UPS.)
many notaries will come to you.
most notaries charge a fairly minimal amount. ~$25 or less.
if not, there are many places that offer notary services. (like the UPS.)
many notaries will come to you.
most notaries charge a fairly minimal amount. ~$25 or less.
trust me, i understand that we’re all broke right now. i get it. but also, this is worth every single penny.
remember that this stuff varies by state so you need to research where you live and what applies there. the paperwork might be different but you can legally designate your NOK to handle your affairs.
