THREAD: The Post Office not only needs funding but also an image rehabilitation. A lot of people don’t think the USPS is good, and that is a big part of the problem. I have identified a few common negative perceptions of the Post Office, and some possible solutions:

1: Letter Carriers are enemies of dogs. This is probably the least popular position across both sides of the political spectrum. Postal workers should carry dog treats to befriend them. Also, get a new enemy. Kill a few spiders everytime you drop off mail.

2: Since the milkman has gone out of business, the mailman is the most widely known person to go all around town having sex with people’s wives. This is another deeply unpopular policy. Either stop outright, or be more discrete while cucking.

3: The two most famous mailmen are Newman and Cliff. Not exactly the publicity you want. Maybe a new show where Michael B Jordan or Zac Efron is a cool mailman. But no cucking!

4: Karl Malone. I don’t know how you fix this, but he certainly isn’t helping.

5: Bills. Everybody gets bills in the mail. Probably the most common thing besides junkmail. No more bills.

6. Christmas Cards. People need to stop sending Christmas Cards. This creates a dilemma where you have to choose between throwing pictures of your friend’s kids in the garbage immediately or sticking it on the fridge in case they came over and it sits there for a year.

So that is my plan to save the USPS. Also, get registered and vote for Joe Biden