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CW: Syscourse
Once upon a time when we were just a newly discovering ourselves system we joined a DID space. We had been diagnosed so we googled and we showed up and started participating. There was a lot of pressure to uncover our trauma and insistence that we must have trauma.
Once upon a time when we were just a newly discovering ourselves system we joined a DID space. We had been diagnosed so we googled and we showed up and started participating. There was a lot of pressure to uncover our trauma and insistence that we must have trauma.
And there was a lot of bashing of other system types which we did not understand. Eventually we decided to figure out what the heck people were talking about, cause the language they were using was very âus vs themâ in a way that bothered us historian folk.
It reminded us of the sort of talk used to motivate truly horrific behavior throughout history. So we did our own research and we started to believe they were being unfair. So moving forward when it came up we would say something.
And this led to people telling us we were stupid and fake and to get out. We appealed to the moderators. They did not seem to care. They made a post banning talk about other system types even though they did not remove rant posts that called them fake. So we left.
And now if we see one of the names from the mod team or one of the systems who dogpiled on us, we get a panic attack. We rarely engage in syscourse because of these early experiences. It blows our mind tho. We were already diagnosed at the time. We are traumagenic.
But merely standing up to say âcalling other system types fake is not okayâ was enough for people to fake claim us and drive us out of the community as the mod team looked on.
There was also consistent trauma comparisons happening and pressure to disclose what trauma had happened to us. It felt gross and gave us a lot of doubt and anxiety as we hadnât remembered everything at that time and felt bad for being plural without âenough of a cause.â
Despite our rejection of the idea that only traumagenic systems were real we had still been taught and internalized many of that communityâs culture that equated trauma with oneâs validity. It made us feel bad for feeling bad about things that were comparatively ânot bad enough.â
When our standing up against fake claiming of other systems led to people fake claiming us and telling us to gtfo we left. It felt like they had won, but in hindsight that was the best thing that could have possibly happened, because that space was so toxic and damaging for us
Damaging in ways we are still recovering from. But that doesnât mean they won. Cause this isnât about winning. But we do feel bad for them, because they are still there. We are glad we found a better way and better spaces. We hope they will too some day. We hope that for everyone
What sparked this thread, you ask? We saw a name of someone and it led to a panic & we decided to take a moment to reflect on it. Anyway, wishing everyone and we truly mean everyone, even the people who make us panic, the best. We wish the best for everyone. Goodnight
