Did you know that if you stopped buying Starbucks for a year you would save enough to still be poor

Did you know if you stopped buying Starbucks for a year Elon Musk would wave at you from space

Did you know if you stopped buying Starbucks for a year Jeff Bezos would put tuppence in your alms box

Did you know if you stopped buying Starbucks for a year Steven Mnuchin would send you a monogrammed dollar bill from the treasury

Did you know if you stopped buying Starbucks for a year a venture capitalist would shed a single proud tear

Did you know if you stopped buying Starbucks for a year a many-eyed seraphim would open one eye and wink, slowly

Did you know if you stopped buying Starbucks for a year God would hand you a giant novelty check

Did you know if you stopped buying Starbucks for 1000 years you could afford to move to Connecticut and wait out the pandemic in your small five bedroom cottage with three nannies a cook and an au pair who speaks a language you think it would be nice for your child to learn

Did you if you stopped buying Starbucks for one year a talking fish would grant you three wishes but you would fuck it up and wish to be a god and end up back in your poor shack with no Starbucks

Did you know that if you stopped buying Starbucks for a year you would ascend to the heavens like Remedios

Did you know if you stop drinking Starbucks for a year they let you take your Poor Beanie off for ten minutes