Next week...

SCOTT BAIO: I‘m someone who knows about Happy Days. Pause for laugh. Oh I wasn’t supposed to read that. Let me start over. I’m someone who knows...

TRUMP: Thank you Fabio. Great kid. I taught him how to act. So Sleepy Joe bombed his schpeesh last week. What a mesh!
TRUMP: I want to bring out the First Lady. Everyone loves the First Lady. Isn’t she great? Come on out Melania. The best thing about her is how handsome she thinks I am. Ask her. If there were people in here you could ask her. Melania come out. Dan, would you get her out here?
TRUMP: Now I want you to meet a great guy, Herman Cain!
BEN CARSON: Hi Don. Thanks for inviting me. I have very good news about the vaccine I developed for COVID while doing the HUD. Me and the MyPillow guy tested it on many of the animals on my backyard ark and it worked twice.
LAURA LOOMER: Marjorie and I wanted you to have this Q mask as a thanks for your support.
TRUMP: Where’s the mask?
LAYRA LOOMER: There is no mask! The masks developed by Bill Gates to implant kids with chips for this hoax virus!
TRUMP: Isn’t she terrific? A real Republican star!
STEVE BANNON: So in order to pay you back the wall money, I need you to do me one more patriotic solid, and donate to my legal fund.
KRIS KOBACH; Our fund.
STEVE BANNON: Whatever. So you paying us helps us pay you.
KRIS KOBACH: Spoke to Trump backstage, he totally supports this.
You can follow @jeremynewberger.
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