a part of healthy masculinity for (straight & bisexual+) men is disinvesting from concern over being interpreted as gay or "soft" & divesting from the pressure to be desirable to (all) women.

important 2 ask oneself, "what's so bad about ppl thinking i'm gay?"

if we can suspend the colossal oppression & rejection gay men face at every level abovehead for a moment, what would be so bad about ppl thinking ur gay?

what negative ideas about being gay are u holding onto?

does my manhood & masculinity crumble if ppl not only think I'm "soft," but if i actually am "soft?"

what do i think it means to be a man outside of being hard & physically strong?

what do i think of myself if i am not desirable to (*all*) women?

do i still believe there's a man who is desirable to all women?

is there a *type* of man that i feel deficient standing beside?

am i fixating on something that's an insecurity for me but is not a determinant of character or personhood?

what do i think being that *type* of man would be like?

for bisexual+ men:

is this *type* of man the kind of guy im usually attracted to?

how does engaging with a guy who i feel inferior to affect how i relate?

for straight men:

do i think this *type* of guy hates me or is looking down on me or is waiting for an opportunity to outshine me?

how does feeling like a *type* of guy has something i lack affect how i relate (to this *type* of guy, to women, to myself)?

do I feel any residual entitlement to women's attention, kindness, understanding, labor, etc?

https://twitter.com/JRYussuf/status/1296600653565956096