Nice White Ladies™ of Romancelandia, neither your tears nor your "good works" will save you from the consequences of your own actions.

Calling you out on your bias and your bigotry is not, never has been, and never will be "bullying."

Correction≠bullying

I get it. You feel some kind of way about *how* you were corrected.

I am going to say this as plainly as possible because some of you, and you especially @SylviaWoodham need to hear and understand this:

It is the height of entitlement to expect those you harmed (intentionally* or not) to center YOUR feelings when they are addressing pain you've inflicted upon them.

Intent≠impact, microaggressions ARE "real racism" and unintentional harm is still harm.

Contrary to what Karen and Miss Ann may have told you, women of color are under no obligation to respond to racism with gentle and mild rebuke. And you do not get to claim you are being "attacked" when the response you receive does not cater to YOUR fragility and YOUR feelings.

You haven't blocked me (yet) so I scrolled through your tweets and I saw a lot of defending and deflecting, and very little reflecting, accepting, and apologizing.

There's a lot there about how you're feeling and how you're struggling...you know what's not there?

The part where you understand that you took a moment from Adriana that should have been sheer joy and celebration and turned it into an incident where she had to defend both her craft and her culture.

There is NOTHING I see where you center *Adriana's* feelings.

And that is the free space in Nice White Lady™ Bingo. The part where the only feelings that matter are yours. Where only you can be fragile, have a tough week, or need no distractions.

WOC aren't given that grace.

You did not give, and have not given, Adriana that grace.

And that's the part that still isn't clicking for you. Because of your racism (and that's what it was), Adriana, instead of writing or doing promo or reveling in her moment, has to now take on the burden of educating you and others and dealing with the situation you created.

And that isn't fair to her.

And neither is using words like bullying, trolled, or attacked to describe the, justifiably angry, response you are getting, especially from those of us who are women of color. That's another microaggression.

And it also reads as an attempt to minimize the harm you've done and shift the focus from where it should be, which is on Adriana and how we can support her b/c SHE is the victim here, to you and your needs and your feelings.

And as long as you're still doing that, still focusing on our reactions instead of your actions... you haven't listened and you haven't learned. And all of this time, effort, and energy people are putting into attempting to educate you has been wasted.

And wasting the time and resources of POC is exactly what racism sets out to accomplish.

"The function, the very serious function of racism is distraction. It keeps you from doing your work. It keeps you explaining, over and over again, your reason for being." ― Toni Morrison

You are either going to learn from this and do and be better. Or you will ignore us because we are not giving you the message you need to receive in the way you want to receive it, and eventually harm someone else.

The choice is yours. I hope you make the right one.

My choice is to now go and do what I can to make sure Adriana knows she is supported, that her work is valued and her words are needed and necessary.

Because she is the person who was harmed. And she is the person who needs to be centered and supported right now.