Read on Twitter
Good morning, and welcome to the PPB’s synopsis of last night’s events, seen as through a police scanner, darkly.
First off, in the PPB’s universe, federal officers were inside of the ICE building, mournfully getting lasered, & not shooting tons of pepper balls by 10:05
First off, in the PPB’s universe, federal officers were inside of the ICE building, mournfully getting lasered, & not shooting tons of pepper balls by 10:05
So this? Must've happened in the Prime Universe timeline. that's not where the PPB lives. They're off in a bubble universe, where it's just impossible to know why protesters might be carrying shields. https://twitter.com/45thabsurdist/status/1296312392930881537?s=20
For those of you following along from the Prime Universe, here’s the Alternate PPB Timeline we’ll be referencing: https://www.portlandoregon.gov/police/news/read.cfm?id=261115
In any travel between timelines, there’s bound to be some slippage: for example, in PPB Universe, this window didn’t get broken until 11:39 pm.
The multiverse is a complicated place, y’all.
The multiverse is a complicated place, y’all.
Similarly, in the PPB’s No Feds timeline, there’s lots of traffic to be blocked, and the LRAD dispersal order wasn’t directing people to disperse towards the LRAD and incoming riot police. https://twitter.com/45thabsurdist/status/1296312991080525825?s=21
Here we see the Feds, abandoned in the Prime timeline, separated from their buddies in the PPB by the impassable veil which separates realities. https://twitter.com/45thabsurdist/status/1296314181596008450?s=21 https://twitter.com/45thabsurdist/status/1296314181596008450
Crisis On Infinite Jurisdictions: The Ultimate Crossover Event. As @alex_zee & others pointed out, this is totally permitted, if federal agents coordinating with PPB aren't those specifically deployed by presidential order to protect a specific building. https://twitter.com/45thabsurdist/status/1296343630521618433?s=20
For whatever reason, this joint gassing was retconned out of the PPB timeline.
In their summary, the PPB makes the confusingly-worded statement “Some custodies were made”
Perhaps, in the PPB Universe, “making a custody” refers to arresting someone (because they yelled when you shoved them) and then walking them into tear gas. https://twitter.com/hungrybowtie/status/1296347201870786563?s=21 https://twitter.com/hungrybowtie/status/1296347201870786563
Perhaps, in the PPB Universe, “making a custody” refers to arresting someone (because they yelled when you shoved them) and then walking them into tear gas. https://twitter.com/hungrybowtie/status/1296347201870786563?s=21 https://twitter.com/hungrybowtie/status/1296347201870786563
In the PPB’s defense, maybe all the gas grenades were from the Feds, and thus imperceptible to them over in their Fed-less timeline?
Oh. Nope. Guess not.
https://twitter.com/_whatriot/status/1296347908900392960?s=21 https://twitter.com/_whatriot/status/1296347908900392960
Oh. Nope. Guess not.
https://twitter.com/_whatriot/status/1296347908900392960?s=21 https://twitter.com/_whatriot/status/1296347908900392960
In PPB’s timeline, CS just gets used. Nobody really uses it.
Like how sometimes the sky gets cloudy.
officers’ injuries were minor.
fortunately there were no other people harmed in any way during the night’s events.
Thus ends our trip through the multiverse.
I hate it here.
Like how sometimes the sky gets cloudy.
officers’ injuries were minor.
fortunately there were no other people harmed in any way during the night’s events.
Thus ends our trip through the multiverse.
I hate it here.
