When I was 7 I held my Grandma's hand as we walked up stairs at courthouse. I had to talk to a judge, I remember being scared and I wouldn't answer until my Grandma held my hand again. My Grandma was the only constant, unchanging, stable relationship I had as a child.

No matter what she was Grandma. Grandma was comfort when I was fearful. Grandma went with me on visitations, I didn't know at time but my visitations required supervision with my mother. I only knew all 3 of us were together and I loved it

I kept a calendar on my wall and each day I marked it off, as my visitation weekend got near I grew more and more excited. I loved being with my mother. Of course I didn't understand why I wasn't always with her or when visitations got further apart

When I went long time without seeing her it was because she wasn't doing well. Often homeless or living in rundown halfway and boarding houses downtown. I remember seeing her and having to step over drugged out people passed out in hallway. Even then I was so happy to see her

With all the dysfunction and chaos I still loved her and I knew she loved me.

I never felt unwanted as a child. It was confusing at times, but I always had my biological maternal family, I knew I was loved.

I can't stand it when people use "unwanted children" while talking about children in fostercare. We weren't/aren't throwaway children. Yes, I understand sometimes there are situations where children don't have anyone else and need placements with strangers.

I also understand there are wonderful loving people who do make a difference in the lives of children in fostercare system. I know, I had several who made a huge impact and difference in my life. I'm not anti foster parent

But I'm here to tell you, children from the worst of circumstances still love their biological families. Their parents, grandparents, siblings and aunts, uncles and cousins

And they need them. They are apart of who they are. Good with the bad