THREAD

@MichaelKeaton gives his best comedic performance since Multiplicity, this time as a political commentator.

In Multiplicity, he clones himself, and then the clones clone one of themselves, resulting in Four.

Keaton is the Four of pundits.

Here's Michael Keaton Four's political commentary.

"Trump is what many call the president."

Four says that Trump ISN'T the president.

See?

He's just getting started.

"It's crystal clear it was a fluke and a terrible mistake."

Four thinks that @realDonaldTrump didn't earn his victory.

He's unaware of how @jaredkushner carefully worked out how to get votes where nobody was looking.

And how Trump skillfully used the press to get free publicity.

Hillary outspent Trump by two to one, and she won the popular vote.

Trump knew that the popular vote doesn't matter, so he went for ELECTORAL votes.

No fluke. A brilliant campaign.

And a MISTAKE?!

Trump has rebuilt the economy TWICE.

I said right before the pandemic that there would be no black swans for Trump.

The pandemic was a health and economic thermonuclear black swan.

Trump handled it without breaking a sweat.

For some reason, people like Four think that Trump was supposed to somehow prevent ANY deaths from the virus.

There are two reasons we have a high death rate:

We perform so many tests that we are able to find the TRUE numbers of deaths.

And two, nursing homes in DEMOCRAT states.

Take out nursing-home deaths in blue states, and we're WAY down.

But the death rates in ALL OTHER COUNTRIES are inaccurate because they're not doing real testing.

This pandemic was politicized from the second it was announced.

Four doesn't give a damn about human life.

He just hates Trump and will do what it takes to get him out of office.

"I've said before--pick the phrase "over his head" "lost" "incapable." Doesn't matter. He just can't do it. He is so obviously unfit. He truly blew a chance. "HE DOESN'T HAVE THE STUFF."

Four is REALLY hitting his stride with THAT one.

I'm a professional investor.

ALL the metrics show that we're going to emerge from this with an economy that will never again be at the mercy of foreign infections.

The secret was doing something NO PRESIDENT HAD EVER DONE BEFORE:

He had meetings with captains of industry.

@AmbassadorRice demanded that Trump repeat the outrageous failure of FDR nationalizing all industry for the war effort.

You know what happened?

MASSIVE CORRUPTION.

The armed forces ordered more than they needed and sold it on the open market.

Corners were cut everywhere.

Government bureaucrats WITH NO KNOWLEDGE OF ANYTHING forced companies to create garbage that the troops threw away.

The best fighter of the war was the North American P-51D Mustang.

The US government forced North American to use the Allison V-1710 engine.

The Mustang was intended to be a high-altitude bomber escort and intercepter.

THE ALISON ENGINE WAS NOT A HIGH-ALTITUDE ENGINE.

So the first P-51s were crap.

When we sent them to the British, they put their own Rolls Royce-Merlin in it, and it was like a new aircraft.

So we asked the Brits if we could manufacture their engine under license, they said yes, and the rest is history.

It was the same with the M-4 Sherman tank.

It had a popgun on it.

The British put a high-velocity antitank gun on some of THEIRS, and it became an effective tank killer.

Ours (left) versus theirs (right).

THE GOVERNMENT GOT OUR TROOPS KILLED.

And Four wants to give that power BACK to the government.

Instead of that, Trump got private industry to VOLUNTEER, and they were able to create a revolution in manufacturing and science.

Trump ordered that several COVID-19 vaccines be put into mass production BEFORE the testing is completed.

If they pass medical muster, they'll be distributed by the armed forces, which has the best distribution system in the country.

AS for foreign policy, Four is unaware that after 72 years of nonstop war, Jared Kushner was able to create a peace plan that all sides are willing to sign.

SUDAN is next.

Remember George Clooney and his endless IMPOTENT campaigning for a Sudan solution?

The Saudis and Trump ended the trouble in about two years.

Today Trump said that IRAN will eventually make a deal.

Four doesn't know that Iran's offensive military capabilities are being steadily destroyed with no loss of human life.

There's only ONE WAY that this is happening.

Iranian insiders are giving our allies the locations of depots and facilities.

Four doesn't know anything about the Battle of Mosul, the Beta Test for the new war-fighting approach called the Third Revolution in Military Affairs.

Originated by the Israelis, the Saudis, and the Emiratis in 2007.

Now the US military has adopted the approach.

The entire US Marine Corps is becoming strategic commandos, while the army is creating Multi Domain Tasks Forces.

War is almost obsolete.

Thank Trump for giving our allies cover AND places for them to train.

Thank @VP Pence, who got involved when he was still governor of Indiana.

Back to Four.

"The job is a tough one and he honestly thinks he can fake his way through it."

Not as tough as running 500+ companies, Four.

AND NOT WHEN YOU DELEGATE.

Pence is a co-president.

Each cabinet head has the authority to waive regulations without asking Trump.

Our ambassadors call Trump TO INFORM HIM.

These are called "standing orders."

The US Navy and Coast Guard engaged the Germans and Japanese in combat THREE TIMES before Pearl Harbor and Hitler's declaration of war on us.

Only AFTER the engagements were over did the ship commanders notify their superiors.

They had STANDING ORDERS.

The reason James Mattis was fired was that he was a micromanager who shackled our troops.

Here's what Trump asked him:

"What makes you think that a New York real-estate tycoon knows more about infantry tactics than an infantry captain who's a combat veteran?"

Mattis had no answer.

Trump gives STANDING ORDERS to everyone, and they execute them as they see fit.

Every now and then, he calls in the the EXECUTIVE BRANCH big dogs and asks them their advice on how to proceed with a new project.

The reason Trump keeps Fauci is that HE NEEDS TO HEAR THE DOWNSIDES OF HIS DECISIONS.

Four doesn't know that Obama had only butt kissers.

AND.

Obama never ASKED anybody anything.

He simply told them to carry out his ridiculous ideas, which is why we had the slowest economic recovery since the Great Depression.

And FDR's ideas all failed too!

Only World War II saved us.

Federal bureaucrats have been STEALING from us for 150 years.

Obama made all his donors millions of dollars.

And Four thinks Obama is a god, I'm sure.

But here's Four's comedic tour-de-force:

"Resign. No harm. No foul. Walk away. Would be very patriotic."

Four doesn't know that PENCE WOULD THEN AUTOMATICALLY BECOME PRESIDENT.

Holy smokes!

The Religious Terminator.

Pence is serene because he's a killer.

He's like a Spartan.

Four has zero factual knowledge on any subject.

Yet he confidently flaps his gums.

I just shake my head at people like him.

"Democracy is honestly and literally in question. That's not being dramatic."

No Four.

IT'S BEING INSANE.

Explain how democracy is in question when Trump is REDUCING the power of the federal government and INCREASING the power of the states?

Trump declared a national state of emergency, which gave him 136 new powers that have all been challenged in court.

He hasn't USED any of them.

He invoked the Stafford Act, which overrides Posse Comitatus and allows Trump to use the REGULAR ARMED FORCES for law enforcement.

Now, I've seen Green Berets, or Delta Force, or Navy SEALs in action in our cities.

Guess what they're doing?

Surveillance, intelligence gathering, and infiltration.

They turn this over to FEDERAL law enforcement, since Democrat mayors are off their rockers.

No killing.

No tanks.

No napalm.

Just nanodrones.

And guys dressed like Antifa.

Guess what the Democratic mayors and governors are doing?

RAIDING ONLINE BUSINESSES.

They allow RIOTS but not religious gatherings.

Democracy is GONE from blue cities.

In MY city, the cops told me that they were no longer arresting ANYONE for ANY crime.

A homicidal homeless woman was arrested on my property FIVE TIMES.

The sixth time, she was simply told to leave.

GUESS WHAT?

She came back with a buddy, and they ambushed me outside my back door.

Now, in California guns are worthless.

Here's the only time you can use them:

Someone BREAKS INTO YOUR HOUSE, shows you a deadly weapon, threatens to kill you with that weapon, TRIES to kill you with that weapon, and you have retreated as far as you can.

They'll PROSECUTE your ass unless all those criteria were met.

So I knew I couldn't use my firearms.

I knew she'd come back, so I redecorated my garden beside my back door with chunks of concrete from 1913.

The male shoved me down next to my garden, and then he began ritualizing.

"That's right, bitch! That's right! Whassup? Wassup? Wassup?"

"Wassup?" means "I'm about to attack you.

He had a short blade in his right hand, and he was flapping his arms like he was trying to fly.

When he came at me, I closed with him on my knees and him him on his left side as hard as I could, right in the ribs.

When he doubled over--as I'd planned--the put his head right in front of me.

So he was out of the fight, unable to see.

The woman then came at me. I was still on my knees, so I grabbed her ankles and pulled her feet out from under her.

She went down on her back.

She dropped two glass meth pipes.

Here's one.

Somehow the other pipe got stuck up her nose, and then I guess her blinded buddy stamped on her face or something.

At any rate, they left and never came back.

I didn't see any blood, but I doused the concrete battlefield in bleach and washed it away.

I also threw the concrete chunk in the garbage can. It's in a landfill somewhere.

See, SOME OF US, Four, don't have a net worth of $40 million, like you do.

My city made me fight for my life like a GODDAM CAVEMAN.

Where are MY civil rights?

Democracy is GONE in my city.

My only hope is the reelection of Donald Trump.

At the age of 58, with severe osteoarthritis in my back and hip, I should NOT be living under the law of the jungle.

Try living HERE, Four.

I'll end with a dramatic performance of Four's political commentary.

Enjoy!



END