I decided to take the time, now that I'm basically trapped in my house for who knows how long, to, as the kids say, "fix my shit." Here is a thread about what that entails for me:

1) Fixing my teeth. I got hit in the face with a softball in high school. In what is a very on-brand move for my mom I didn't go to a dentist/doctor to see if I needed anything fixed/corrected afterwards. When I asked for braces she said I could get them for myself as an adult.

1.a) So I did. Went with Byte for what it's worth (won't tag because this isn't some big ad for anyone, just my personal journey). I'm on week five of a 29 week treatment (my teeth are prettttttty bad) and I'm noticing the difference and it feels amazing to make the investment

1.b) Worst part of my mom saying "go do it for yourself" to me as a kid is that most dental plans don't cover adult braces, but nearly all of them cover braces for dependents younger than like 18. So I'm sure I'm paying 4x or more what she would have paid.

1.c) I'm worth it even if she didn't think so.

2) Fixing my facial skin. I've lived with pretty bad acne most of my life. Sensitive skin has been a challenge for me since I was very young, and then puberty and whatever else. I just never recovered. So I started experimenting and realized that added fragrance cased the acne.

2.b) Moved my routine, from wash to lotion to makeup, to entirely fragrance-free (pretty close to "clean" across the board) and my skin is the best it has ever been my entire life. Go figure! Now I get how people can be like "oh I don't wear makeup."

3) Fixing my hair. I have thick, frizzy, stupid hair. A true Leo mane. I decided to try a well-rated co-wash and I get it now. I see the light. I'm done with sudsy crap stripping my hair of it's natural goodness. I also let it airdry most days with a little airdry creme. Happy.

4) Fixing my hands. I get terrible contact dermatitis/maybe eczema on my hands, especially my middle and ring fingers. Why there? Who knows. Figured out it was lavender/lavender oil causing it. What had lavender in it? My kid's bath soap. Sigh.

5) Distancing myself from toxic family members. Now is not the time to deal with their bullshit on top of how my life has been basically uprooted by the pandemic. I am not ignorant, I don't live a lie. I am home with a now 17mo kid and work late into the night.

5.a) I don't need to see stupid bullshit from my family on Facebook. So I deleted the app and basically gave them on the way out. Probably the best decision I've made for my mental health in years. Yes, this includes my insane QAnon Qult mom.

5.b) In March she gave me the biggest guilt trip about having my then 13 mo still in daycare, at the same time calling the pandemic a "DS plandemic." Damn woman, chose a lane. I gave her unending shit about it. She blocked me on Facebook so I didn't have to see her "research."

5.c) I got a happy birthday text from her but that's the only time we've really interacted in about three months. I've asked my husband, still connected with her on Facebook, to stop updating me about her insanity. I don't give a single shit.

5.d) I'm just sad my daughter won't really know her grandma. But also a bit happy because I don't need the bullshit to infect my poor kid's brain.

6) As dumb as this sounds, I put down Animal Crossing for a while. It actually started giving me anxiety. I finished a knit sweater for my kiddo and started a cute crochet rainbow blanket for her and do that instead. I love making stuff.

6.a) And remembering that I love making stuff has improved my general mood and disposition greatly.

7) Learning to be okay with my anger. I grew up in the midwest. I'm trained in ultimate passive aggressive emotional suppression. I am deprogramming myself and letting myself be angry and finding ways to express it. Fortunately I have an amazing husband that is my sounding board.

I just needed to get that out there. Remind myself that even though I feel stuck I'm making progress in other ways.

If anyone does want to know brands of things I've tried that I've mentioned above, just let me know. I didn't want consumer culture to be a backbone of my journey so I didn't tag anything. But I'm happy to share for those curious.