(THREAD) It's time—the Keith Schiller thread.

1/ Cohen says Schiller—Trump's bodyguard—was Trump's point-man for his seediest activities. There's universal agreement Schiller lies for Trump. The good news for Trump: the Republican National Committee—which Trump effectively runs—is paying Schiller off: https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/21/politics/donald-trump-keith-schiller-rnc-contract/index.html

2/ Stone associate Sam Nunberg told Congress he believed when Trump wanted to hide a phone call—either to Roger Stone or someone else—he'd use Schiller's phone, which presumably was replaced often. Cohen says Schiller arranged Trump's sexual liaisons. Pg. 227 of the SSCI Report:

3/ Nuneberg wasn't spitballing, either. As I said, everyone agreed on Trump's habits—he used Schiller as cover and accomplice when he was going to do something bad (illegal or unethical). We understand the random-sex cover-ups; why did Trump feel he needed to hide calls to Stone?

4/ Oh! That's right. Trump needed to hide that he was coordinating with Kremlin agents through Stone, who was in direct contact with those agents. *That's* why he hid his calls to Stone and lied about them to Mueller. Okay, this makes sense now. Trump-Russia coordination—got it.

5/ Sometimes Donald Trump used bodyguard Keith Schiller to call the Kremlin agents directly—like when Schiller called Goldstone to arrange Trump's dinner with men described in the SSCI Report as Russian "gangsters." I can see why Trump wouldn't want to use his own phone for that!

6/ I mean, who *doesn't* use their bodyguard to arrange meetings with gangsters?

Anyway, Trump does.

7/ Here's what Schiller—known universally as someone who's Trump's accomplice, who lies for him regularly, who's now being paid off by the Republican National Committee that Trump effectively runs—had to say for himself in speaking to Congress under penalty of a felony for lying:

8/ "Schiller said he had no recollection of going [with Russian gangsters and Trump] to any [golden-shower] club [in Vegas]." (SSCI Report, pg. 275)

9/ "Schiller told the Committee he did not recall who picked them [him and Trump] up at the airport [in Moscow in November 2013]." (SSCI Report, pg. 287)

10/ "[Schiller] also did not recall doing any vetting of the transportation entities or arrangements for Donald Trump [in Moscow in November 2013]." (SSCI Report, pg. 287)

11/ "[Schiller also did not recall] having any communication with the Agalarov's organization to coordinate [Trump's Agalarov-hosted Moscow visit]." (SSCI Report, pg. 287)

NB: As you read all this, remember that Schiller was Trump's Head of Security. Again... *Head of Security*.

12/ "Schiller claimed he had no recollection of the events at Nobu." (SSCI Report, pg. 290)

NB: Did I mention I'm giving you *all* mentions of inveterate liar and *suspiciously* compensated RNC stooge Keith Schiller in the SSCI Report? They're... *all* like this.

*All of them*.

13/ "Schiller said he did not recall attending a [Moscow] birthday party [the night of the 'pee tape' allegations the CIA confirmed as true to the BBC in January 2017]." (SSCI Report, pg. 292)

14/ You might think Schiller is suddenly opening up when, on pg. 293, he gets chatty! He tells the Committee that he *definitely* wasn't watching Trump's door all night on "the night in question"—convenient, it means he witnessed nothing!—but *also* is *certain* nothing happened.

15/ If you think this is what low-level thugs who work for mafia bosses sound like when questioned by law enforcement—in both the movies and real life—*ding ding*.

16/ Here's Schiller, who's definitely *not* committing a felony by lying to Congress, telling Congress that the idea of him being used by a Trump business associate to set up a random sexual encounter for Trump—something he'd done many times—was so implausible it was *laughable*:

17/ Yes, friends, sometimes, as men do, they suddenly treat as laughable and implausible something they... do all the time.

*All the time*.

18/ But wait! It gets better. Schiller didn't just laugh about, you know, that thing he did for Trump *all the time*. He *scolded* the person who made the offer! What a gentleman! What a Lionheart! What a Galahad! "How dare you, sirrah, offer *Donald Trump* random sex in Moscow!"

19/ Like all highly trained law enforcement types, Keith Schiller is *observant*. Asked to describe the person who offered prostitutes to Trump, he recalls:

Not sure when offer was made
Not sure where offer was made
Man
Spoke English
Wore suit

Slow down Colombo!

20/ The prior tweet gives you a *great* sense of the skill-set the RNC—effectively run by Trump—is paying Keith Schiller a *minimum* of $15,000/month for. When you want someone to see nothing, hear nothing, understand nothing, and most importantly *say* nothing, Keith's your man.

21/ "Schiller told the Committee he did not know who reserved the hotel rooms. (p. 293) "Schiller did not recall being involved in reviewing the hotel selection." (p. 293) "Schiller did not recall taking any security precautions regarding Trump's room." (p. 293)

Damn, he's good!

22/ "Schiller told the Committee he did not remember how many nights they were in Russia." (p. 293) "Schiller did not recall what hotel they stayed at." (p. 293)

Highly paid "Head of Security," ladies and gentleman! Talking to the United States Senate! Under penalty of perjury!

23/ Wait, wait... I do want to be fair. Schiller *did* tell the United States Senate that he was "standing" when a Kremlin agent offered prostitutes to his protectee on foreign soil under circumstances suggesting an attempt to create kompromat. He was "standing." He knows *that*.

24/ Say it ain't so, Mike! I don't believe it! I *won't* believe it!

25/ "Schiller told the Committee he had no recollection of a music video being filmed." (p. 295)

This part I believe.

I mean, if you're in Moscow for an international pageant and a Russian gangster asks your protectee to be in a creepy music video, why would you remember that?

26/ Schiller couldn't recall if two Soviet-born Trump business partners with shady Russian intelligence connections rode in Trump's car with him while they were all in Moscow meeting with shady Russians with intelligence connections. Again—why *would* you remember this? (pg. 298)

27/ Schiller ups his "RNC game" here, though: despite these Soviet-born Trump business partners with shady Russian intelligence connections being with Trump throughout his Moscow stay, Schiller "had no recollection" of *anything* they did in Moscow with *anyone* at *any time*.

28/ Felix Sater is a Russian mafia-linked Trump Org agent who had an office near Trump's—and met with Trump (protected by Schiller) regularly—so how many times did Schiller *ever* see Sater in Trump Tower over *years* of the Trump-Sater relationship? "Once, maybe twice." (p. 416)

29/ And what does Sater say of his interactions with Schiller over years and years and years?

"A couple times a day, a couple times a week, a couple times a month, depending if I was there [in Trump Tower rather than on a trip abroad]." (pg. 416)

$15,000/mo., folks. *Worth it*.

30/ Schiller was shown a picture of David Geovanis, who was *with Trump in Moscow* and is infamous for his exploits with women in Russia—exploits that compromise himself and anyone with him. Schiller's reaction?

"Schiller did not recognize Geovanis' picture." (p. 657)

Get it?

CONCLUSION/ I'll end with this: when Trump's fixer heard from a friend that there was a tape of Trump from the Ritz Moscow floating around the Agalarovs' circle, guess who Michael Cohen called? Keith Schiller.

Folks, Trump's a criminal. He just pays his accomplices well. Period.