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the reason lewding cwn is so fulfilling to me is because of of how he denies himself simple pleasures out of shame, and it's thrilling getting to watch him open up to indulging those desires, because it is utterly liberating for him.
cwn being submissive in bed is so compelling because the narrative tells me that he had such a long struggle with accepting that part of himself. he deserves the chance to let loose and have someone else take the reins for once, but for so long his shame at needing that so badly
interfered with him enjoying that part of himself. cwn is cool, aloof, and dignified on a day to day basis, always in control, but deep down desires for a loss of that control. the fact that he loves someone enough to allow them into that bubble of shame, and then to also allow
them to gently help him change his own perception of himself... that's sexy.
cwn has to learn how to overcome his own shame and self deprecation on his own terms, but the fact that he allows mo ran in, allows him to support him on that journey to eradicating shame, makes me so
cwn has to learn how to overcome his own shame and self deprecation on his own terms, but the fact that he allows mo ran in, allows him to support him on that journey to eradicating shame, makes me so
happy kfjsnfkjn it just makes me so intrigued by their dynamic.
submission can be so empowering and liberating!!! especially for cwn!!! giving himself the freedom to indulge in those desires... god it's so divine to watch
and i think it's important that this growth isn't dependent on mo ran telling him nice things... though it definitely helps. cwn learns a lot thru the novel about how to communicate and view things from others' pov, which is great, but he also needs to accept these things
for himself. mo ran can't be extricated from this progress and learning, but he can't be the entire reason. at least, that's what i think.
SPOILERS when cwn tells mo ran that he willy willingly submit to him, i think it really speaks to cwn accepting that there is no shame in being submissive for someone he loves. he didn't get there because mo ran told him so, but because with the support of mo ran's
love, he's able to learn this for himself. the fact that it's an unprompted statement means a lot to me... the fact that he proudly professes this without any reservation speaks to the journey he's gone thru to accept himself
and a lot of this is a mix of me reading into things and speculating jnkjfnsf but that's how i interpret the evidence as of right now... i kinda want to go back and reread certain parts and properly write meta on this...
lmao 'willy' i love typos
oh also another thing - i love thinking about how he would act post canon. my personal thoughts are that the shame doesn't just disappear completely - it's something that has been a part of his life for as long as he can remember, i can only imagine that it would take some time
for these feelings to gradually fade and lessen. i don't think 'easily embarrassed' cwn will ever disappear entirely, i think that's just an intrinsic part of his personality, but i think that as he settles into the familiarity of mo ran's love and their domesticity, he will
find ways to push thru that embarrassment and become more bold... he will find ways to express himself despite that part of his personality, because growth doesn't mean that he has to change who he is.
but i don't think there will ever be a time when mo ran can't say something shameless and cwn will flush in response kfjsnfjkn that's just who he is and we love him for it
but yeah... i think cwn will become more and more comfortable expressing himself [particularly in bed bc that's my focus rn haha] over time, but it wont come instantly, and it won't radically change his personality
