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I’m feeling some kind of way today because reflecting on things I wish they went differently. If any trans men or transmasc people out there are reading this, stop hanging out with other trans people who demean themselves/other men or treat masculinity like it’s evil.
Even if other trans men do it, it’s literally so fucking bad for you. You will soak it up and it will make you hate yourself or make you think you are making the wrong decision. Just get out of there.
Men and masculinity isn’t bad or evil. Toxic masculinity is bad but people inherently link the two and it’s harmful. I detransitioned for two years because I had friends that were in so deep on this rehetoric and still healing from it, just do urself a favor and leave it.
Even if other people tell you it’s the right thing to do to shut up and never worry about your safety or vent about what’s happening to you even if other people tell you it’s progressive to hate men just don’t. Don’t do that to yourself.
And I’m writing this with pure ache and hatred towards myself even now still that I’m trying to heal from because of what others made me think of it. Presenting as who you really are should be a good thing. It should feel right. Leave people that will try to change your mind even
If they are friends of yours. Even if they seem like good people. Even if they seemingly have a good reason. Don’t stay quiet about it, and if you don’t want to speak up, leave before it hurts you. It’s a nearly impossible hatred towards yourself to reverse.
And no one else should be telling you how to experience your own transition either. Leaning more on the masculine side, not enjoying typically feminine things isn’t bad. Experiencing negative emotions isn’t bad. You shouldnt have to overtly soften yourself to be respected either.
I know this is a bit of a heavy read but it’s such a lonely experience and there’s such little resource for us or talk of experience that isn’t soaked in gatekeeping/elitism based on ‘how cis can u present’ I just want you guys to know I care and to just be really careful w who-
You surround yourself with or people who tell you how to experience your own transness. Like I wish someone told me, when I was younger how the very community you look to and trust to accept you can be just as transphobic as the one that cast you out.
My thought organization is off the shits today but this is like, directed for masc trans people, not trans women or trans femme leaning people if I wasn’t clear enough.
