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“Aromantic people are abusers who want to sexualize their partners but withhold romantic affection” is one of the most garbage disgusting takes I’ve seen on this website.
I’m aro. I’ve also been abused w/ manipulatively withheld affection... absolutely not the same.
I’m aro. I’ve also been abused w/ manipulatively withheld affection... absolutely not the same.
I’ve described my experience w/ aromanticism at length a few times but to summarize: my romantic feelings are indistinguishable from my platonic feelings. There’s no core difference outside of consent to be explicitly romantic with someone (and this can even exist platonically).
“Romantic” affection is something I don’t consider exclusively romantic & is something I value with all of my relationships.
If anything I express what to others is “romantic affection” more because it’s a possibility that exists within all non-familial relationships for me.
If anything I express what to others is “romantic affection” more because it’s a possibility that exists within all non-familial relationships for me.
The idea that “aromantic = withheld affection” fundamentally misunderstands what it is to be aro and it’s disgusting that we would be lumped in with abusers because of how we experience attraction.
It couldn’t be more far off from what my own and many others aro experience is.
It couldn’t be more far off from what my own and many others aro experience is.
I’m also not sure where it’s coming from that aro people are sex pests who only want sexual connection w/ others because a lot of the aro people I know are sex neutral or sex repulsed asexuals.
It’s pretty familiarly fucked up to frame us and our desires as exclusively sexual.
It’s pretty familiarly fucked up to frame us and our desires as exclusively sexual.
Additionally like... people seek out exclusively casual sexual relationships all the time. People have friends with benefits all the time.
Why is this suddenly an issue and being framed as predatory and abusive when it’s aromantic people?
Why is this suddenly an issue and being framed as predatory and abusive when it’s aromantic people?
Additionally, not every relationship dynamic requires romanticism. Just bc yours does, doesn’t mean someone else’s does. Someone else’s relationships not requiring romanticism doesn’t make it abusive. That relationship may not work for you & that’s fine, but it does for others.
If you’re worried about the requirement of romanticism in your relationship, talk to your potential partners about it... don’t somehow make it the problem of aro people when you’re fundamentally misunderstanding them in the first place.
Aromantic people in relationships are not necessarily ppl who don’t want romantic affection in their relationships. For many of us, like myself, it means that romanticism and romantic affection (which I personally want a lot of) isn’t a threshold limited by platonic vs romantic.
At any rate, it’s a dogshit take to say anyone is an abuser because of their experience w/ attraction but also anyone trying to suggest that literally calling people abusers because of this IS NOT discriminatory is also a fuckin asshole. It is incredibly harmful & discriminatory.
I’m tired of it being the Cool Big Trans Account thing to shit all over asexual and aromantic people. You’re boring, annoying, and hateful.
I wrote the word “additionally” so many times in this thread I’m fucking tired whatever u get my point
Hey just want to clarify, the initial take that stated this was someone speaking from a place of trauma who later walked back their take and recognized it was harmful.
My issue from this is the bigger accounts using that take to double down and further target aro people.
My issue from this is the bigger accounts using that take to double down and further target aro people.
I hadn’t seen the apology but it was pointed out to me by someone else and I wanted it to be clear that this was something that the OP walked back and apologized for.
Fuck the people using that as an opportunity to be hateful though, especially because the OP apologized.
Fuck the people using that as an opportunity to be hateful though, especially because the OP apologized.
