There's nothing wrong with you. That cognitive dissonance you are feeling is entirely appropriate. If you name it, out loud, you just might help someone else today. Some possible questions you might ask>

Why is it that stock market is booming, although
workers can't pay the rent, and
Iowa is forgotten, suffering, crops destroyed, and California's sweltering in and out of black outs?

How can it be that a deadly virus is uncontrolled, but
universities are opening long-enough to pass the virus around and send the student home to every corner of the nation?

Why might it be that egregious evidence of corruption is in plain site, but a the opposition party convention continues on mostly normally?

How is it that the billionaires became bigger billionaires than they were before this quarter, all while Greenland is melting, and evictions are rising, and children are hungry?

There is much we can do, but most of it starts by saying that the things that matter are not ok and that if some indicators appear to be booming while the fundamentals are crashing then there is something wrong with those indicators.

There comes a point when a paradigm no longer has explanatory power. For instance when the idea that nature is a resource to be consumed leads to fire tornados in somebody's neighborhood or 1/3 of an entire couontry underwater.

Or when the idea that they way to find efficiency is to reward those who are willing externalize degradation of nature and people, leads to disease, and hunger, and suffering.

It's scary to say a way of organizing the world hasn't worked. But not as scary as a fire tornado, I bet.