I don't know if anyone else thinks about/does this or I'm just weird, but... Hugs, both digital and physical - a thread.

Everyone has different levels of contact that they're comfortable with, and you never know for sure without asking. I've found anything from literally saying "hug?" "would you like a hug? It's ok if you're not up for it", or just holding out my arms and inclining my head work.

The important thing is that everyone involved gets to choose.

Online, it's a bit different. With people I know well I can just emote *hugs* or *huggles*, we know each other well & it's established that that's ok. But people I don't know well, I don't know, but want to offer.

So I emote *offers hugs*, because I have no idea what other people's boundaries are, but a hug is an almost universal human gesture of support, love, and solidarity. But it absolutely requires mutual consent.

I think if you're dealing with some one you don't know well, establishing that it's ok to say no is important, because not everyone is at a stage where they recognise the importance, so not everyone takes "no thanks" or the more subtle signs of refusal as a sign to step back.

IRL I'm not a very huggy person (with humans at least). I'm huggy with some people I know well, but even then there's times I just don't want to be touched, & people respecting that is *very* important for me.

(NOTE: If you are a cat, horse, bird, dog, rabbit, or other cute fuzzy animal you are exempt please give me all the hugs)

Anyway, what this rambling thread boils down to is that hugs are important, but so is respect for boundaries. While online isn't physical, it still displays intent & some form of interaction, & it still has an impact on the recipient. So I emote *offers hugs*

*offers hugs* has the intent of affection, solidarity, love, and support in a digital world, but it includes (hopefully) an indication of respect for the boundaries of the recipient.

So... I dunno, is this a thing we should be doing more? Is it just me that thinks about this stuff? It could easily be just me.