Not even Danny believes this of course, and we know he doesn’t because he’s spent at least the last five years pleading with his own party to calm the hell down, even as they’ve strapped on rocket boosters to their mobility scooters and begun demanding racism as a human right.

We know Danny is aware that the animating spirit of the Conservative Party is “Tear everything that isn’t mine down and fuck you” and his main quibble is that it risked ruining his own attempts to terrify the public into believing that the opposition were going to Stalin Britain.

The very, very charitable reading here is: Danny has convinced himself to love Big Brother in the form of his dimwit oligarchs & corporate welfare revolution party. More likely, he knows his “moderation” patter looks ridiculous and now he has to polish up the sales job.

It’s darkly hilarious that conservatism is mainly the protection of bajillionaires and the moderately wealthy by tearing down and selling off anything that can be wrecked or stolen, while its salesmen scamper after the bulldozer apologising to passers-by. And now the scam resets.

My boss: (necking white spirit) Wreck it all, tear it down, fuck you, full speed ahead, anyone who gets in my way is a traitor to be crushed by my iron will
Me (to customers): He’s a nice guy really but he can get a bit moderate when he’s had a drink