In my darkest hour, @PSWTyrant told me that failure was okay.

He's more a mentor, and one of the smartest, most kickass people in the games industry.

Anyway here's a lesson for all of you... https://twitter.com/GailSimone/status/1295936193742266368

When we did the Free-to-Play conversion on Star Wars, I insisted on being the Lead Designer on the initiative. Not only was I better versed on what competitors were doing, I was afraid that if no one signed up for the gig, it'd go to a producer who would think sales first.

It wasn't until a couple months later (we did the F2P conversion in a matter of 2-3 MONTHS - it was insane), that I realized I was in over my head. Publically, I was telling everyone, the team, it was all going to work out. Internally, I was FREAKING THE FUCK OUT.

Anyway, I found myself at an industry event, and I pinned Gordon in a corner and told him I was freaking out. He had actually left the company quite recently, so he was aware of how important the initiative was to SWTOR and the studio.

Anyway, he listened to me, he looked down, then he looked me deadass in the eye and said, "what do you think will happen if you fail?" I went through my fears. Game dies. Studio shut down. All of your worst imagined fears.

He said "Do you think you won't get another job then?"

I thought, and said, "Um, no. I'll probably find a new gig."

He said, "and the team?"

I said "They're good. It will suck, but most of them will find something new, maybe even in EA."

Then he asked me, "What would happen if you guys do nothing?"

I don't think I answered.

Then he asked me something like "What would happen if someone who cared less than you did the job?"

And right then, something in me clicked.

Games fail. All the time. Sometimes GREAT games fail. Sometimes terrible games succeed. We all want the brass ring, but none of that's the end of the world, and you'll just crush yourself if you wallow in self-pity if you can't get to the Superbowl.

And even if you're successful, there's always a next thing. One project ends - failed or successful - and people seek new challenges, companies try new things. Life goes on.

Anyway, this sounds like an excuse to not care. It's not. And in fact, after this I went on to do some of the very best work of my career. Because just this huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I still felt responsibility for my team, but I no longer was crushed by it.

And while SWTOR never actually reached the lofty heights of 'beating WoW', it ultimately did make a billion dollars, and most of that was based on the work that that team did in that tiny window of time.

https://massivelyop.com/2019/11/01/swtor-has-made-almost-a-billion-dollars-and-ea-is-pleased-most-pleased/