a consequence of trying to artificially develop self esteem with affirmations of "youre perfect the way you are" is that many times the mind intuitively senses the areas in which we lack. one begins to feel defective for feeling inadequate despite being told otherwise.

a better way to develop self esteem in children would be to guide them through the development of skills that will give them an internal sense of competency and likeability. we are so focused on changing feelings that we forget to consider what they may be communicating to us.

this must be balanced with a radical acceptance of ones current reality and a compassionate outlook on the journey that has led you there. but don’t get this (healthy) outlook confused with a need for platitudes that obfuscate the internal critic’s role in self improvement