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In nervous system development, when we go into hyper-arousal and become dysregulated it’s crucial to have self soothing skills that can shift our energy and mood. It’s helpful to know these ahead of time so that they become second nature.
What are some that work for you?
What are some that work for you?
I always recommend on this list having a variety of things that require different amounts of time, resource and that activate, calm, or energize you in different ways depending on mood. Sometimes you need cognitive skills other times you need somatic skills.
If you are actually hypo-aroused meaning low energy and shut down you wouldn’t necessarily want to mediate. You would want movement and dance and other skills they increase arousal. So the list should be extensive and specific. And it should be very sensory rich.
My self soothing skills are:
Gardening/Plant care.
Nature walks
Household chores
cleaning
organizing
Herbal teas
Essential oils
Cold showers
Hot baths
Sound healing
Playing with pets
Weighted blanket
Playing with my hair
Foot massage
Heating pad
Making playlists
Gardening/Plant care.
Nature walks
Household chores
cleaning
organizing
Herbal teas
Essential oils
Cold showers
Hot baths
Sound healing
Playing with pets
Weighted blanket
Playing with my hair
Foot massage
Heating pad
Making playlists
Most people who I have worked with don’t have an extensive enough list. They may have one or two self soothing skills that don’t fit different scanaries. In the moment you need them isn’t the time to find new ones. This is why creating this list ahead of time is clutch.
Another great skill for the nervous system is co-regulation. This can happen by attuning to someone whose nervous system is regulated, when yours is not. This is often what people experience when they hear the sound of my voice. They feel a nervous system in the optimal zone.
Nervous system co-regulation isn’t calling that friend that emotionally escalates when you emotionally escalate. It’s calling that person that remains present and calm and grounded when you feel scattered. Again make it sensory rich.
