Things that will happen if we sign Baptiste Santamaria (a thread):

#twitterclarets

1) He will be given a new name, likely something easy like Dave*, because Burnley fans refuse to get a foreign player’s name right

*Santa is another, more jovial, suggestion

2) He won’t get his own chant because of the same reason listed above

3) He definitely won’t play, and if he does, it’ll be out of position.

4) when he does get his valuable game time (probably in the Carabao cup), he’ll do a really silky piece of skill and will be greeted with an “oooh” from the Longside

5) He will try the same skill again later on, lose the ball, and be scapegoated for the rest of his Burnley career for it